Forgetting My Life
by strawberries712
Summary: Mikan Sakura loses her memories after waking up from a week long coma. Upon waking up, she discovers that she was a cruel obsessive fangirl with no real friends. As time goes on, the problems of her life only continue to add on and she must figure out her mysterious past. Can she make it, or are the hardships of forgetting her life too much?
1. Forgetting My Life

**Summary: Mikan Sakura loses her memories after waking up from a week long coma. Upon waking up, the problems of her forgotten life keep piling up. She discovers she was once an obsessive fan girl with no real friends. On top of that, Natsume seems to constantly be popping up in her life, and has something do with a suspicious person named Persona who wants to see her again. Can she make it or are the hardships of forgetting her life too much?**

**So, to people who have read this story previously, I have gone back through my story and revised everything and changed some details, because some of it completely annoyed me to the point of not wanting to finish the story. I've barely touched some of the chapters and entirely rearranged others.**

**So enjoy...**

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**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

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**Chapter 1: Forgetting My Life**

"Huh?" It was so sudden, the feeling of being back in reality once again. I hate that feeling, when the light around me seems foreign to my eyes, and all the sounds are louder and more potent to my ears, bouncing around in my head. Worse of all it's when the fantasies of my dreams no longer exist.

When I opened my eyes, I saw a strange bright light that practically blinding me. There was a man next to my bed wearing rectangular glasses with shrubs, and he began scribbling on the clip board that he was carrying.

"Who are you?" I was so confused. Where was I? How did I get here? Who the hell was the strange man standing in front of me? He looked up away from his clip board and over at me, surprised at first as if me talking was something strange.

"Mikan? Oh, I'm your nurse."

"Okay, but who are _you?_" I began rubbing my head trying to think of what was going on. For some reason I could remember random facts about stuff like one plus one equals two or apples are red and oranges are, well orange.

"Wait here. I'll go get your doctor," he said before rushing out of the room without having anything else to say.

"Doctor?" I sighed and lied back down onto the bed I had awoken on. "What the heck is going on?" I dug through my mind trying to think of something, anything that would help me understand why I was here in this place. Nothing though. Suddenly the thought of that made me scared and I wanted to get out of here.

I instantly sat up and was about to jump off the bed when the nurse came running back into the room, with, who I'm guessing, the doctor. "Mikan, you're awake." I jumped off the bed and pointed my finger nervously at him.

"Who are you now? And stop saying Mikan! I don't even know what that means or who it is or why you keep saying it!"

"Mikan do you remember anything?" He worryingly asked as he began to approach me. I was on the other side of the bed though, and I was about ready to jump back on and bolt on to the other side and out the door.

"Mikan calm down. I'm your doctor, I'm here to help." He tried to comfort me but I still I don't know who this man is or if I should even trust him for that matter! Waking up with no recollection of what's going on very means that, for all I know, he could secretly be trying to kill me.

"No." Once again he tried to approach me but I protested, "Don't come near me."

"Mikan, I'm here to help! I'm Doctor Senri, your doctor here at the hospital. Now just take a seat Mikan." Hospital? Is that where i am?

"I'm telling you I don't know Mikan, leave me alone!"

"You're Mikan. You must have amnesia. Is there anything you remember before waking up here in the hospital?"

"Uhhh..." My mind was blank and nothing appeared. It was so scattered and confusing. This man, this Doctor Senri, obviously knows me more than me. He says I have amnesia, and now that I truly think about it I don't remember anything, just the white walls of the hospital room and the face of doctor Senri and that nurse.

"I can see you don't know anything. Mikan you have just woken up from a week long coma, after getting stuck in a kidnapping. Now you have complete memory loss of who you were and everyone around you."

"Uh... What?!"

"Do you want to talk about it?" The lady in front of me asked. I had been told she was my therapist and she would help me sort things out in my mind. But I still feel extremely uneasy about everything. I don't remember anything or anyone. Seeing my own reflection scares the hell out me! Everything is a mystery and I hate it.

"No!" I coldly responded. "Can I go now?"

"Where will you go?"

"To my hospital room...duh."

"Mikan, you can't just keep escaping to that depressing room. Sooner or later you are going to need to get back outside into the world."

"How can I? I don't know anything. Just a few days ago I learned what the heck a therapist was. How do expect me to go around in the real world, when I don't know anything about it."

"It's not that you don't know, it's that you can't remember."

"Shut up! That's practically the same thing, if I can't remember then I don't know!" She looked at me obviously starting to get annoyed. Jeez, she could at least be a little more understanding. I mean I don't remember a damn thing about who I was , where I came from, where I've been. Well sorry for being in a bad mood!

She sighed and once again tried to convince me. "If you go back out there and start to see things from previous in your life, then maybe it could trigger some memories."

"I don't know..."

"I can ensure you Mikan, you will be much happier with your memories."

"How do you know?"

"Because we were given your records on who you are."

"How come I haven't been told about this! Show me this record thingy." She sighed and got up out of her seat and pulled out a folder from inside her desk. She then handed it to me and I began to skim through the information that was apparently about me. "Okay so my full name is Mikan Sakura, and I am 16 years old. When I was 14, I had to come to the hospital for an extreme head injury due to a car accident. Both of my parents were killed in the car crash... Well that's disappointing."

"You don't seem too upset about it?"

"Well yeah, I don't even remember having parents let alone losing them. So it's practically like they were never here."

I looked back at the folder and continued reading, "other than that it looks like I really don't have any other family. My address is 473 S. Howalon Lane. What a cute name!"

"Yes, it was actually you're family who named the neighborhood since they were the ones who developed it."

"They developed a neighborhood?"

"Sort of. You see you're family is, I mean was, very rich and could do things like naming a neighborhood."

"So I'm rich?"

"You will be. Right now you are only sixteen so all money is currently frozen until you are eighteen and then you will inherit everything."

"Okay..." I continued reading only to discover that I live by myself and I am currently attending the Alice Academy. Plus, no one visited me when I was hospitalized, meaning I am basically alone. "The road to self discovery is a very depressing path indeed." I sighed and a black cloud formed around me. well, this sucks. I am a person with no one to really rely on and cannot seem to recall anything about the outside world. All I know are most my nouns, adjectives, and simple stuff like that. Names are a blank, and dates are extremely confusing. I'm screwed.

"Bye bye now. Have a safe trip home." The doctors guided me outside where I gazed up to look at a grey cloudy sky. They had handed me some of my clothes, which consisted of a simple red turtleneck sweater with plain old navy blue jeans. Since I've been in hospital rags for the past week, it felt weird wearing normal clothes. I walked up to the car that was going to take me home. It a was a nice black car, and it even came with its own personal driver. I was told he was my family hired chauffeur. He professionally got out of the car and opened the door for me. I looked around to see my doctor waving good bye to me and urging me to get in. "We'll see you next week for a check up and some more therapy," he yelled and then walked back inside. Not missing his presence, I sat down into the car and the chauffeur closed the door behind me. Truthfully, I was scared. This was like my first car ride and I wasn't feeling too safe about it. Especially since I was told my parents died in a car accident.

"Are you alright miss?" The chauffeur asked me as the car started moving.

I just smiled and responded, "Of course, thanks!" The doctors told me that I should try acting like nothing happened for a little while. So I took their advice and decided I should act like I never lost my memory, and couldn't remember a damn thing. That's right I just have to act like everything is all good. "So... how are you?" I don't know why I asked, it just felt like the right thing to do in the moment of an awkward silence. He looked at me through the rear view mirror and gave me a puzzling look. What's so weird about asking a simple question?

"F-fine I guess."

"Oh...well that's good to hear."

When we finally arrived at the house , I looked up to see it wasn't a house at all. It was a mansion! I guess they weren't kidding when they said I was rich. My mouth gaped at how huge the house looked on the outside and I instantly grew excited at how big it would look from the inside. The chauffeur once again gave me a funny look as I excitedly ran up to the front double doors. Unsure of what to do, I waited for the chauffeur to walk up to me. He looked at me and then turned on the door knob to open the door. I looked at him in wonderment, excited that it is truly that easy to open the door and walked into the mansion. "Oh...duh. that looks easy enough." I laughed and then walked into the house.

I was right when I thought it would look huge, and the inside was definitely just as elegant and magical as I had imagined. Almost instantly, a maid approached me and welcomed me home. She then began to list a bunch of things that happened while I was gone. Of course I have no idea what she was talking about and just smiled at her saying thank you and to keep up the good work. I said that to about every maid I seemed to pass while wandering the house. Every time I did this, they just gave me a funny look, like what- is-wrong-with-her. Which is annoying, because I thought that's what a person was supposed to do. I opened the door to about every room in this place, trying to find my own room. Where is it?

Finally I opened a room to find all the walls painted a lovely rose like pink and decorated with beautiful ornaments. It had a bed, a dresser, and a whole lot of furniture that fit into it perfectly Taking a wild guess, I assumed that this was my room. "Cool." I walked in and sat down on the bed and rubbed my hands against the nice silk sheets. At least now I know I have good taste.

After that I decided to take another trip around the house, feeling the need to learn my way around my own house. About an hour of wandering aimlessly made me tired and warn out, so I returned to my room and lied down on my soft silky bed. I stared up at the high white ceiling. The doctor had said some of my memories should be triggered through familiarity, but nothing. I still don't remember crap.

Everything is so confusing and new. It's like I am a newborn baby, but with the body of a sixteen year old. There is so much out there and so much I am experiencing probably all over again. What have I experienced? What have even done with my life? What kind of people do I even know?

This isn't right, I don't even know anyone yet. The only people I have met since waking up, after a week long coma, was the doctors, my therapist, and all my maids. They don't count though, because they only the stats, they don't actually know _me. _Honest, real, Mikan me. What am I like? I hope people out there know that. Who I am.

I also wonder what the rest of the world is like. If it is as I have seen so far, making me feel as cold and lonely as I feel right now, then do I really want to go out into it? I continued to think these thoughts, as my eyes close and I drifted into a deep sleep.

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**Chapter 2: Me, my confused self, and I Preview-**

Seven. That is the time I read on my clock just now, and it is the absurd time I have been forced to wake up at. Apparently, I'm going to school today.

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	2. All about me, my confused self, and I

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

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**Chapter 2: All about me, my confused self, and I**

Seven. That is the time I read on my clock just now, and it is the absurd time I have been forced to wake up at. Apparently, I'm going to school today.

There was a uniform sorted neatly lied down on my bed and I quickly hurried to put it on. School, huh? I do remember reading in my records that I attended Alice Academy. This is kind of exciting, like my first day of school. Which for me, it kind of is.

Then like a robot I manually walked into my bathroom and began brushing my hair to put my hair up in a pony. I was about to grab my pony, when I realized what had happened. I had done this automatically, without even thinking about it. Then I remembered standing in front of this mirror every single day, doing this exact act of putting my hair in a pony. The doctor said stuff like this would happen as I went about my normal routine. I smiled in victory and continued doing the all so familiar movements of putting my hair up.

Time for school!

I had gone downstairs and ate my breakfast. Then I went to the door to find my chauffeur waiting for me outside. He drove me to school and then right when I got out of the car he drove off, making me throw my first impression of him being nice right out the window. "Thanks for leaving me!" I angrily shouted out after him. Staring up at the gigantic school I instantly started to feel nervous. I wandered around a bit hoping I would remember where I was supposed to go. There was no luck, and this school was as unfamiliar as ever. I was lost.

"Mikan!" I jumped up into the air and let out a small shriek as I heard my name being called. I turned around to find a smiling blonde grown up approaching me. He had sparkling purple eyes and wore a tacky, frilly white shirt. I gulped and wished to myself that he wasn't a creepy rapist or anything. Please don't be a creeper! "You're awfully jumpy! It's just me your teacher! I heard you were coming back today! Come on we're both late for class." Teacher? Honestly, I would of never guessed.

Anyways, I sighed in relief and followed the strange man to what he said was supposed to be my classroom. We stopped at the door and he turned around to talk to me.

"Mikan I just wanted to let you know I have been made aware of your condition. So it is very nice to meet you! I am your teacher Mr. Narumi. If you need anything don't be afraid to ask."

All I could do was smile and shake his hand back. This guy was a little creepy and possibly gay, but I felt like I could trust him. "Thanks! You already know my name, but I'm Mikan."

He walked into the noisy room and told me to wait outside until he gives me a signal to go in. What's the point of this?

"Okay class! Guess who just got back? Our favorite student Mikan!" I walked into the room and everyone sighed in disappointment. Jeez, harsh much?

"Sorry to burst your bubbles, gosh." I muttered and then looked at Narumi-sensei, when I realized I had no idea where to sit. I walked up to him and whispered into his ear. "Well... where do I sit?"

He then whispered back into my ear, "sit in the very back next to the window, that's your seat."

I smiled and and replied, "Oh, thanks!" I looked around and saw the empty desk off to the side near the window. It wasn't just an empty seat, but the whole row was empty. Were the students who sit back there late, or am I just that avoidable? Smiling felt natural for me, so I smiled the whole way there, while looking around as well. Almost everyone I passed was staring at me. Then I noticed a black haired girl with amethyst eyes giving me the worst kind of stare: this girl is an idiot. I'm going to kill her kind of look. It was definitely confusing and was very much conflicting. What was her problem? I sat down and I swear I could hear the kid in front of me gulp, like oh-shit-she-just-sat-behind-me. He shouldn't be surprised. This is my seat, isn't it?

"Okay today I don't feel like teaching, so I'll give you guys a free period." Narumi-sensei happily skipped out of the room leaving us behind. Well...that was stupid and pointless.

The door slammed open, and two guys came walking in. I looked over in their direction, only to realize they were what a person would call handsome. Like oh-my-god-my-heart-is-pounding handsome. The first one to enter had crow black hair and peculiar deep crimson eyes. Which I personally think is kind of weird, but hey, if wearing contacts is his kind of thing I can't do anything about it. He instantly noticed where I was sitting and stared over at me for a while, obviously thinking, before moving his attention back to where he was walking. He walked straight over to my row and took a seat. Right. By. Me. Mr. Narumi said I usually sit here though, so I should most definitely know this person, right?

"Hi!" I said, giving him my sweet smile and waving to him.

He just eyed me curiously before responding to me with a cruel, "hn," and then looking away. Whatever that's supposed to mean.

The one who followed him took a seat in our row too and right next to him. He was a cute blond and had this really adorable face. His eyes were a shade of blue and he looked extremely nervous as he gleamed down at the girl with the amethyst eyes. I wonder what that's about? He just looked like he was going to pee his pants!

"Natsume! Ruka!" a crowd of screaming girls with hearts in their eyes began to form around the boys sitting. Of course I had to be the one to sit next to them. All of them are annoying and weird. Whatever... I turned around and pulled out what was supposed to be the history book. I admit I was curious about the two boys, their many fan girls, that girl with the stare of a devil, and half the other people in the classroom. But I might as well spend this time learning the things I forgot about, like history.

Everyone in the room went dead silent. All the girls stopped screeching like their lives depended on it, and random conversations ended. I put my book down to discover every pair of eyes, even the boy with the crimson orbs, staring at me. Okay what is this all about? Why are they staring at me? Do I have something in my teeth? Wait... they can't even see my teeth.

"Mikan!" A loud mouthed girl with strawberry blonde hair broke the silence. She came jumping over to me with an extremely worried look on her face. Could this be... a friend? This is kind of exciting! I wonder if she is. Then again she didn't visit me when I was in the hospital, so maybe she wasn't that important. "Why are you acting so funny?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when you walked in here you had this great big smile on your face...that never happens. Then you sat down and began reading the history text book, that is also new. Plus, when Natsume and Ruka came in you just said hi and barely glanced at them," let me guess that never happens, "THAT NEVER HAPPENS!" Wow! I couldn't be more right. "Usually when you see Natsume and Ruka you instantly start shouting out there names and begin drooling over them, like the rest of us."

"Okay...sorry... I guess I...didn't feel like it?" Weird. When I was imagining myself, I didn't think I was the type to ogle over some guy. Maybe I'm not. Because when I saw him I thought he was handsome, but not something to worship over.

"Sorry? That's something I never heard you say." I turned my heard to another annoying girl with green wavy hair that reminded me of seaweed. "Luna don't be deceived so easily. She came in here and took a seat right next to Natsume and Ruka's seats. I mean she is the Queen Bitch around here." Bitch? Not only that but the queen of it. Somehow I find that hard to believe, I mean I can't even hurt a fly. Literally! There was one in my room this morning and I couldn't find it in myself to kill it. I mean yes I was sort grossed out and found it extremely annoying, but it was just trying to live it's life. That is why I know I can't be a bitch.

"What did you just call me?"

"You heard me, bitch! You just come back after being gone for weeks, and already back to your old games, where everyone must pay attention to you."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't play dumb-"

"Sumire, shut it." The girl with the amethyst eyes walked over to me and then gleamed at the strawberry blond sitting in front of me, "Luna move." Okay so so far I have learned the girl with the seaweed looking hair is called Sumire and the other one who was talking to me is Luna. Now who is the girl with the amethyst eyes?

"How was your trip Mikan?" The girl continued. Her tone was icy and frighteningly emotionless, which truthfully gave me the chills.

"Trip?" Does going to the hospital count as a trip?

"Yes, your trip to Hawaii." Hawaii? Oh I get it! Everyone must think I've been gone for the past couple of weeks because I was in Hawaii. I wonder who started that rumor.

"Oh, that- it was fine." I tried to smile at the girl, hoping to play along.

"Hmm... you don't look too happy about going all the way to Hawaii."

"Yeah, too much sun." Is she trying to catch me in my own lie?

The bell suddenly rang and I was saved. I collected all of my things and ran out the door, before having to talk to anyone.

That night I lied on my bed staring at the ceiling once again. Who was I before I lost my memories? A jerk face who liked to mess with people, just like Permy suggested? (That one girl said her name was Sumire, but I've decided it's more fun calling her Permy.) A crazy fan girl who was obsessed over two good looking guys? This is all too hard to believe...

When I woke up in that hospital bed I was scared, and a little cranky. Now I feel like I can be myself, but I don't know what that is. For the days I've been awake I have never wanted to hurt or treat someone badly. But now apparently I am the "Queen of Bitches."

What should I do?

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**Chapter 3: Let's go on a stalking adventure! Preview-**

"I thought I told you to stay from this hotel little girl!" He tightened his grip that was holding me down and I let out a tiny shriek, "You shouldn't go making mistakes like that."

"What the hell? Let go of me!"

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	3. Let's go on a stalking adventure!

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

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**Chapter 3: Let's go on a stalking adventure!**

I walked through what seems like the never ending hallways of Alice Academy, making my way towards the classroom. Yesterday had been an interesting day in self discovery, figuring out I was an annoying fan girl who was considered a bitch. This morning I decided I should try to act the way everyone had been portraying me, and see how that goes.

"Mikan!" I turned around to discover Luna shouting and running towards me. I smiled and waved back to her as she caught up. "Hey Mikan! Are you feeling much better today?"

"Yeah, but I was never not feeling-"

"Good, because me and Sumire have planned a Natsume and Ruka fan club event!"

"What kind of event, and who is Sumire again?"

"Jeez, Mikan you are the worst at names! Sumire is who you call Permy."

"Oh-" She interrupted me again!

"And we are going on a stalking adventure! Just the three of us: you, me and Sumire. We're going to follow Ruka and Natsume around." This doesn't sound like fun, but if it's what I used to do...

"Okay!" I smiled and tried to act happy about.

"Good, because we're doing this just to cheer you up!" she smiled and walked ahead of me in to the classroom. Why do I feel like that's not entirely true? She's probably been planning this "event" for a while now, and just used me to make it seem more causal. I mean it's not everyday a person proposes a plan to go and stalk someone for a day. I'm starting to think she's hit her head harder than me.

_Later on that day..._

"Okay are you ready?" Luna and Permy came skipping towards like from the Wizard of Oz, carrying a camera in each of their hands.

"I can't believe your letting this slut join in," Permy stated, giving me an intimidating glare. Apparently I'm a slut too.

"Oh shush. Let's just go."

"Yes!" Let's just get this over with. The two boys came walking around the corner from inside, when the three of us dove behind a bush. I looked over at Luna to see her pulling out a notepad to take notes. Like I said she must be mental. Natsume and Ruka began to get out of our sight so we crawled through the foliage to follow them.

"Shhh..." The two girls in front of me shushed me to be quiet. Here they are crawling through the bushes without even rustling a leaf, while on the other hand I seem to touch every single leaf I pass. Note to self: my ninja skills suck!

"So, Natsume what do you want to do later?" The blond boy asked, I believe everyone has been saying his name is Ruka.

"Hn." The other boy with the peculiar crimson orbs was most definitely none other other the screaming girls' favorite, Natsume. He walked next to his bud with his two hands in his pocket trying to look cool. Okay, he wasn't trying because he did look cool. I actually saw Permy manage to sneak a picture in with her disposable camera.

"Great answer," Ruka replied sarcastically.

"I'm gonna head home."

"Oh, okay."

"Crap! They're splitting up," Luna whispered into my ear. Excuse me, personal space. I swear I could feel her saliva when she whispered that to me. How gross!

"What should we do now?" I asked, hoping this meant I could go home. I don't know how I felt about stalking these two boys before, but now it's just creepy. Plus, I'm not very stealthy at all and I'm afraid we'll get caught. Would that hurt my reputation, or is it already known that I'm a stalker?

"Follow Natsume!" Yelled Permy, in her failed attempt to whisper. Luckily no one noticed we were there and we continued to follow Natsume. We trailed him for quite a while, until he walked into a fancy hotel.

"Okay Mikan this is where you come in," Luna looked over at me deviously.

"Huh? Why me?"

"You're the rich one. So go in there and make it look like your a customer. Don't worry, we'll be right behind you." What was I supposed to do? Yes, I'm rich... but I don't know anything about the money I can use, and how widely my family's name is known.

"Fine." I walked out of the bush in front the hotel, with the two girls behind me. The man at the door just looked at us suspiciously and I began to hope my acting skills weren't as bad as my ninja skills. I walked up to the door and was about to open it, when I was stopped. "Excuse me?"

"Who might you be?" The door man asked.

"I am here visit a friend who is in town. What's it to you?"

The door man didn't look like he bought it and continued to pester me with questions, "Who are you and can you even afford this place?"

"Excuse me? That is none of your business! Now move that fat ass of yours out of my way before I throw a tantrum!" Thank the heavens my acting skills aren't too shabby. At least now I know I'm not a good for nothing.

He didn't budge and even threatened to call security. Luna and Permy just sat there in the background hoping I'd put this guy in his place. But I don't even know what to do! Obviously this guy knows we're not here to mingle, I mean we're just teenagers. Then again Natsume is a teenager too...maybe he used his name.

"Dammit I am Sakura Mikan. So let me in!" That did it. He stood there gaping for a little while, before finally moving out of the way. He opened the doors for us and we entered the hotel. It's not like figuring out I'm a Sakura is a big discovery. His reaction was kind of strange. Wonder what that was all about?

"That took you long enough," Luna said walking past me into the hotel. "Now where did Natsume go?"

"Maybe he went to the restaurant," Permy suggested.

We were all on our way there when a person grabbed me by my arm and shoved me into an elevator. The door closed and I was suddenly shoved against a wall. I looked up to see Natsume pinning me against the wall. He had fury in those crimson eyes of his, and fear began to consume me.

"W-what do you want?" I asked, fear evident in my voice. Why the hell did he do that? Why does he look like he is about to kill me? Why me?

"I thought I told you to stay from this hotel little girl! Also, what was with that greeting from you yesterday?" He tightened his grip that was holding me down and I let out a tiny shriek, "You shouldn't go making mistakes like that."

"What the hell? Let go of me!" He did as I asked and the elevator door opened.

"Know your place, and don't come back ever again!" He exited the elevator, but before leaving he looked back at me. He looked deep in thought, and I could tell that he could see the confusion in my eyes.

Right after that I pretty much ran home, leaving Permy and Luna behind. I am so confused! Why did Natsume freak out the way he did, when he saw me in the hotel. Was it because he knew I was stalking him? No... then he would of said to stay away from him, instead of the hotel itself. Do I have a connection to that hotel in some way? Maybe, the doorman didn't recognize me because I probably wasn't a regular. But maybe I went there sometime in the past and did something I shouldn't have. That's not too hard to believe. I mean when Natsume saw me there, he looked like he was ready to kill me right then and there. So that means I had definitely done something I shouldn't have. But what?

Also, was not acting like normal truly even a mistake? I mean, why did it matter to Natsume.

I don't know... all I know is something definitely isn't right.

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**Chapter 4: A Meeting With Hotaru**

"Polka?"

"Did you forget? I know it's been a few weeks but how could you forget my favorite nickname?"

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	4. A Meeting With Hotaru

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

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**Chapter 4: A meeting With Hotaru**_  
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_Mikan,_

_You and me need to talk. Meet me after school today._

_-Hotaru_

That's strange. I never expected Hotaru to leave me a note to meet her. By the way, Hotaru was that girl who kept questioning me about Hawaii and seemed really cruel in the way she spoke. It took me a while, but I finally figured out her name, Hotaru. Ever since that first day of school, I have tried my best to avoid her. I don't know what it is, but the way she looks at me and talks to me is unnerving. I think she knows something, so I'm ignoring my instincts and am going to go talk to her.

I followed Hotaru outside the classroom, and without saying a word she guided me to a tree. The tree stood tall and was stripped bare of any leaves or petals, which is understandable since it is winter. "So Mikan. What's up?"

"Excuse me?"

"Don't play dumb. I know you better, and truthfully I thought you knew me better too. Nothing gets past me." Yep. She definitely knows something!

"What the hell are you talking about!"

"I know you weren't in Hawaii. That was a lie a made up on my own. Also, my resources told me you were in the hospital." So that was a lie! And she was leading me on the whole time! Also, did she just say she had resources? Who is this girl?

"So? What is it to you?"

"Mikan! What is it to me?" This whole time I had been talking to her, her face has remained the same. Emotionless. But as she spoke to me just now, there was a hint of distress in it, "you may have been ignoring me, giving me a cold shoulder since your parents died, but I'm not stupid. Nor do I care any less about you now, then I did two years ago before the accident." Care about me? What is she talking about? Did she used to be my friend?

"Do you know what I'm talking about?" She could see the confusion my face was portraying. This girl is obviously catching on. She knows I was in the hospital, she seems to care about me, and she knows I have no idea what she's talking about. Maybe I should tell her. I mean this girl can definitely help me out. Plus, I can't explain it, but I feel like I can trust her.

"No, Hotaru. I don't." Suddenly, without my consent, tears began to fall out of my eyes. Why was I crying? Gosh, this is so annoying! "I am so confused all the time! And I never know what people are talking about!"

"Mikan are you alright! What do you mean? What happened to you at the hospital?"

"I have amnesia Hotaru! I don't remember anything about you, this school, my parents, or even me for that matter!"

"Mikan-"

"So tell me Hotaru, who are you to me?"

Her cold icy voice softened and for a split second her stoic expression ended, because at that moment she hugged me and whispered into my ear, "I am your friend since childhood Mikan."

Me and Hotaru talked for hours after that. Right after the hug ended she went back to having a cold heart and answered almost all my questions. Apparently when we were younger, we used to be neighbors and that is how we first met. Then we befriended each other and were practically inseparable, only because of how clingy I was. But what I found extremely interesting, was how two years ago, after my parents died, I changed. That's when I became known as the school's bitch and the Ruka and Natsume's Fanclub Vice President. Plus after the accident which ended my parents life, I ignored Hotaru and tried to cut her out of my life all together. Hotaru explained that the tragedy of it all probably made me mentally want to change. Whether that's the case or not, I still find it weird.

But now it's getting late, and I don't like the dark so now I'm waiting for the chauffeur to come pick me up. The sun is just barely sitting over the horizon, and the clouds are painted over the sky illuminating a beautiful shade of pink. I feel like a weight has slightly been taken off my shoulders. Its nice to have someone to talk to about my amnesia. But then again, I can't pretend forever. Sooner or later more and more people are going to find out. I just hope my memories come back before then. Or else my life is going to be nothing but a pity party, and those are never fun.

"Oi, Polka what are you doing here so late?" Someone's there! That voice...

I turned around to find Natsume staring at me from behind. What is he doing here? I hope he hasn't come back to harass me some more.

"Huh? Me?"

-Natsume's POV-

It was getting dark out, and I was heading home when I saw Polka standing in front of the school. It's almost getting dark out and she's all alone? You'd think with everything going on she'd wise up! "Oi, Polka what are you doing here so late?" She turned around and looked at me.

She pointed her finger at herself and asked, "Huh? Me?"

"Yeah, who else around here do I call Polka?" Jeez, this idiot can really be stupid sometimes.

"Polka?" Yeah, Polka.

"Did you forget? I know it's been a few weeks but how could you forget my favorite nickname?" Ever since this girl came back from her "trip", she has been acting strange and has been messing up a lot. She seems more happy, and is much less clingy towards me. Actually it seems like her interest in my fan club has completely disappeared. I'm not complaining about that though, the less crazy girls chasing me around the better. Plus, the other day she went to the hotel. I thought she learned her lesson the first time! But when I left the elevator she looked confused. Really legitimately confused. Kind of like the way she is now...

-Mikan's POV-

Polka? What kind of nickname is that supposed to be? I thought me and Natsume were on bad terms. Just what is our relation?

"Oh well." I turned around so I wouldn't have to talk to him anymore. I mean I don't know anything about this guy. One second he's completely ignoring me, then he's tackling me against walls while threatening me, then he's calling me strange nicknames. The more I ignore this guy the better. Because obviously I don't understand him or his relation with my past.

"Hn." From the corner of my eye I could see him put his hands in his pockets and walk away. I hate to admit it, but I'm curious about him. The past couple of events that have occurred with him, make me wonder. Who is he to me? A friend, acquaintance, enemy? Whatever, thinking about it is going to give me a headache.

The car pulled up in front of me and I quickly entered. "How are you?"

"Good, mam. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is-" My words were cut off though when a sharp agonizing pain erupted through my head. I shrieked from the pain, and I could see my driver freaking out. He was saying something, but I couldn't hear a thing. My vision blurred, and everything became oblivious. Then I blacked out...

* * *

**Chapter 5: Remembering My Past Preview**

I stuck my head into the window and handed her the keys. "If it makes you feel any better, Ruka has always been my favorite." And with that I turned around and headed towards the front door of my house. I was about to open my door, when I heard someone walk up behind me.

"Can we talk now?" I turned around to find an annoyed Natsume looking up at me. Did he seriously follow me home?


	5. Remembering My Past

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Remembering My Past**

The car pulled up in front of me and I quickly entered. "How are you?"

"Good, mam. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is-" My words were cut off though when a sharp agonizing pain erupted through my head. I shrieked from the pain, and I could see my driver freaking out. He was saying something, but I couldn't hear a thing. My vision blurred, and everything became oblivious. Then I blacked out...

Why do the maids insist on making me wake up this early? I groaned in annoyance and rolled myself off the bed, literally. Once I hit the ground I slowly rose up so I was actually standing. If anyone else saw that, they would of thought I was a zombie rising up from the dead. Mornings aren't my thing.

I dragged myself to the closet and began dressing myself in the school uniform. Then I walked myself over to the bathroom. I brushed out the bird's nest known as my hair, and quickly molded it into a cute high pony.

I slammed the door open and saw my maid Charla waiting for me outside my room. I remember when she first started working here, a few months ago, she would jump whenever I came out. Now she is used to the slamming open of my door. "What's for breakfast?" I growled.

"Eggs, bacon, and some pancakes," she said in a sweet voice. That's a substantial meal, sounds yummy.

"Fine. Make sure the pancakes have chocolate chips in them," I demanda. I absolutely love chocolate, especially in my pancakes.

"The chef automatically does that already, mam." Why couldn't she of done what I asked? Now she's just going to make her job more difficult.

"Excuse me. I told you to go make sure. You never know when the idiot known as the chef will slip up." Hmph, the things I deal with.

I slammed open the doors to the classroom and everyone in the room looked up at me. I walked into the class, trying to swing my hips in a sassy way. "Mikan!" Oh great, here comes Luna. I can't believe I made this slut my friend. Then again, the way I am now, I don't have room to talk.

"Luna!" I ran up to her and we began jumping at each other in excitement. What's so exciting? I don't know, so don't ask.

"Well, well. How are you Mikan?" Sumire walked up to the two of us, trying to look cool and failing miserably. I can never take her seriously with that hair of hers. She has always been jealous of me.

"Better than you, Permy." Sumire shrugged and walked over to her seat.

"At least, out of the entire class, I am the best choice for Natsume," Sumire stated.

"What did you base that off of?" Luna asked, already ready to fight Sumire for that title. When it comes to Natsume, those two have always been extremely sensitive. I rolled my eyes, completely ignoring them,and walked over to my seat. Of course I can't just leave them alone, the way they're staring at eachother could be deadly.

"Chill, Luna. Permy is just being Permy. She can dream all she wants, but that doesn't change reality: Permy will never have Natsume," I stated matter-of-factually, "or normal looking hair."

"What'd you say bitch?" She shrieked and walked over to me.

"Are you sure you want me to repeat it? Because I will."

"Uh... shut up!" Before she could fight back, Natsume and Ruka came walking into the room. Here comes the same daily routine. I jumped out of my seat with the rest of the girls and went to greet them. "Hey, Natsume-kun!" Permy purred, "your not going to believe what that bitch Mikan said."

"Like I care," Natsume casually walked over to his seat and sat down.

"Whatever Permy. You're just jealous." I looked at Permy as I sat down in my seat and sat nice and close next to Natsume. I smirked at Permy's reaction, but I could feel Natsume's cold glare shooting daggers at me.

"Move it, Polka." At that Sumire smirked and the battle for Natsume's non-existing affection waged on.

Narumi-sensei came dancing into the room and everyone turned their attentions towards him. Once everyone died down and class begun, I scooted away from Natsume and just stared out the window. "Whatever." Class was pretty much extremely boring today. Then again it always is.

"Mikan!" The moment school ended, Luna came running up to me.

"Yes?"

"You and me are going to the mall!"

"Depends. Who's driving?" Please say me!

"Me, of course." Why do I even ask? This girl can not take a hint/learn from the past.

"No. I'm driving and your buying me dinner while we're there."

"Fine." Luna knows there is no point in fighting me on this. Because it's either give me my way, or forget about hanging out with me. I have to get something in return for hanging out with Luna.

Luna handed me the keys to her brand new red convertible, and I hopped into the driver's seat. I should probably get myself a new car, but I'm too lazy and busy. "Thanks Luna. Your cars are always fun to drive!"

We arrived at the mall, and looked through like half the shops. Shopping with Luna is always tiring, because I have to listen to her endless ranting about life. Of course it's probably true that I annoy her more. "Let's go get something to eat."

When I walked into the food court, I instantly regretted coming here. Towards the outside of the food court I saw Persona and his buddies, which unfortunately includes Natsume. They didn't seem to notice me, and I would like to keep it that way. "You know what Luna, I'm not so hungry anymore, let's go."

"Huh? Why?"

"I just told you, I'm not hungry." She sighed and followed me out of the food court. Thank god they didn't notice me. My encounters with that group are never fun. "Luna, keys." She was about to give them to me, when her gaze shifted to someone behind me. I turned around to see her batting her eyes at none other than Natsume Hyuuga.

"Natsume!" She ran over to him and gave him an up close and personal hug. Which by the looks on his face, he did not enjoy. I don't like her hugging him either quite frankly. When I saw Persona and the others weren't around, I walked up to them and shouted Natsume's name out as well.

"So what brings us the pleasure of seeing you here?" I brushed my finger along his chest, making him look even more annoyed. None the less I continued grinning.

"I need to talk to you."

"Natsume, why do you need to talk to her?" Luna shrieked and tried to throw herself on him again.

"I don't know, maybe I'll just talk to you later. Not really feeling the mood."

"There is no mood. We need to talk." The way his voice sounded I could tell he was getting impatient. But the truth is, I don't want to talk to him. I know what it is going to be about, and I don't want to talk about it.

"Luna, let's go." I gripped Luna's wrist and dragged her away with me. She looked upset. Probably because Natsume gave me more attention than her. Then again when does he ever willingly give her attention? "See ya tomorrow Natsume," I tried to say it dreamily and blew him an air kiss. Of course he just rolled his eyes in annoyance and walked away. I smirked as I sat down in Luna's car. "Now give me the keys." I held my hand out and was awarded with the keys.

"Natsume still gives you more attention," she pouted.

"Oh boo hoo, stop whining over the fact I'm more attention worthy." I pulled out of the garage and headed towards my home. We stayed quiet for the ride home. When we stopped in front of my house, I decided to break the silence. "Stop being such a downer."

"Whatever, you always win."

"No one ever likes a poor loser. So stop feeling so down about yourself." This girl is such an idiot. I haven't won anything. Natsume just needed to talk to me for business matters and nothing more. Natsume would never willingly talk to me about anything else. I am one of his annoying fangirls after all.

The feelings are returned as well. I dread making talk with Natsume, mostly because it always ends horribly. He has a way to really push my buttons. Of course I try to hide that fact from him. I got out of the car and walked over to Luna's side, before she could get out. I stuck my head into the window and handed her the keys. "If it makes you feel any better, Ruka has always been my favorite." And with that I turned around and headed towards the front door of my house. I could hear the car skidding away in the background. I was about to open my door, when I heard someone walk up behind me.

"Can we talk now?" I turned around to find an annoyed Natsume looking up at me. Did he seriously follow me home?

"Doesn't really look like I have a choice. Unless you want to come inside..." I said trying to be seductive.

"Drop the act."

"Who said I was acting?" Nothing but silence came in after that. I sighed. "What do you want?"

"It's not what I want, it's what Persona wants."

I shot myself up, practically gasping for air. My head was spinning and the feelings I had rfomt hat dream still lingered inside me. _It's not what I want, it's what Persona wants. _Fear, disappointment, and anger. That's everything I felt.

"Mikan, you're awake!" I looked over at the other side of the room to find my giddy doctor, Doctor Senri.

"What happened?" All I can remember is getting a really bad headache, then blacking out, and then...

Oh my god! Was that my past? It had to be. I can't believe it, I remembered something. But what does it mean?Who is this Persona fellow? And what in the world did he want from me? Plus, what does this have to do with Natsume? Once again, things are confusing. Then again, when did it ever stop being confusing?

* * *

**Chapter 6: The Strange Break In Preview**

I closed the fridge door, and was about to go to the sink to wash my strawberries, when I heard someone whisper my name. "Mikan." I pretty much freaked out and dropped the contents in my hands. I turned around to find a strange person behind me.


	6. The Strange Break In

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

* * *

**Chapter 6: The Strange Break In**

Yesterday I had woken up in the hospital, but today I got to wake up to the warmth of my own bed. Today is another school day, and no matter how much I complain, I will have to go. I groaned as I forced myself to get out of the bed. Getting up every morning like this is a pain in the butt.

I opened the door, like a normal person, and saw Charla waiting for me. She was wearing her regular maid attire, and truthfully looked exhausted. "Good morning mam."

"Good morning Charla," I said putting on my sweetest smile, "How are you?"

"Very good." Charla responded in her sweet voice. I wish she was here that first day after coming back from the hospital. She would of been a great help.

"That's nice to hear. Why don't you take a break tomorrow? You truly looked exhausted." Chalra seemed a bit surprised at first, but instantly smiled again and nodded in agreement.

Sometimes I worry about Charla. From what I understand she is the head maid around here. She is the first one to wake up in the morning and the last one to go to sleep. It is actually quite impressive.

"So, Mikan. Why weren't you at school yesterday?" I haven't even entered my classroom yet, and Hotaru was already pestering me with questions.

"I was in the hospital."

"You were in the hospital?" I turned around to find Natsume looking at me. Even if he was hiding it well, I could tell he wasn't worried or anything, he was just curious.

"What's it to you?" I marched into the classroom so I wouldn't have to continue my conversation with that ass. Ever since I regained a small portion of my memory, I have been thinking about Natsume. Obviously, something is going on. All I know though is it has something to do with this Persona fellow. And what exactly did he want from me?

_-Flashback-_

_I was about to open my door, when I heard someone walk up behind me. "Can we talk now?" I turned around to find an annoyed Natsume looking up at me. Did he really have to come all the way to my house!_

_"Doesn't really look like I have a choice. Unless you want to come inside..." I said trying to be seductive._

_"Drop the act."_

_"Who said I was acting?" Nothing but silence came in after that. I sighed. "What do you want?"_

_"It's not what I want, it's what Persona wants." My heart beat increased and I cringed in fear._

_-End of Flashback-_

I wonder what the Persona person wanted from me. And by the way he looked, it's kind of freaking me out. Creepy.

"Why were you there?" Hotaru asked as I sat down in my seat. She kept her voice low, so no one like Natsume could hear what we were talking about.

"I passed out after getting some of my memory back. The driver freaked out and took me to the hospital."

"You got some of your memories back?"

"Yeah."

"Care to explain in further detail..." I pretty much explained to her the basics of what I had remembered. This time I even told her about Natsume's involvement. "I'll look into it," that was all she said before getting up and returning to her seat.

"Good morning my beautiful sunshines!" In came Narumi-sensei as he danced cheerfully, making his way to the front of the class. You have got to love his morning welcomes. "How are we all doing today?" Then the door slammed open and in walked Natsume followed by Ruka. Do they wait outside for the perfect time to come in? I mean like seriously, I was just talking to him. Whatever.

"Nice to see you're late again," Narumi happily exclaimed.

"Hn." Natsume continued to his seat next to me. I ignored him and just pretended to stare out the window. Of course this didn't excuse the fact that two crimson eyes were taking interest in me. It's annoying having to ignore someone staring at you, while you pretend to casually not notice. Well at first I was pretending, until I actually zoned out.

"Mikan!" I heard Hotaru shouting at me, then she took out a strange device and it began shooting at me.

"What was that for!"

"You were zoning out like an idiot."

"So did you have to shoot me with that thing?"

"This, for your information, is my baka gun. So, yes, I did have to shoot you."

"Totally un-" I looked around the room to find everyone staring at us. I guess that's expected though. I mean they don't know Hotaru and I are friends. Plus, I decided to drop my bitch act, because I don't even know what that was about in the first place. May of been who I was then, but now I 'm most definitely not.

"Mikan! Since when did you start talking to this nerd!" Luna came waltzing up to me and Hotaru.

"Why does it matter?"

"Hello, I'm your friend."

"Really?" She looked at me with a confused face. To her this must seem out of the blue. Of course she should have seen something like this coming ever since I started acting funny. "Look Luna... We're not really working out, so yeah..." After she processed what had happened, she got over it and acted normal again.

"Ew... you make it sound like we were gay together." Luna didn't seem very upset by my actions. If anything, she was probably happy to get rid of me. From what I remember, me and Luna didn't have a terrific relationship. We treated each other badly, and pretended that was okay.

She smirked and went over to Natsume, who was casually reading his manga. I don't think he noticed Luna approaching him, because his face was so engrossed in the manga. "Fine! You are now officially kicked out of the Natsume and Ruka Fanclub." Thank god, that was getting a little weird. I mean stalking. Who in their right mind elects to do that as a club activity? She smirked and tried to hug Natsume, but he just shrugged her off. I don't think she's completely sane.

"Okay," I don't really care. I'm obviously not the same Mikan as I was before I lost my memories.

For the second time that day, Narumi came dancing into the room. "I almost forgot to tell you! Next week is the Hyuuga Ball, which is a fundraiser to support Alice Academy. Now I expect all of you to be there to help raise money for this school. That is all for now. Toodaloo." And with that he went twirling out of the room.

"A school ball, huh?" Luna turned her attention towards Natsume, "Natsume want to be my date?"

"No." He said flatly without a moment's hesitation. He just continued reading his manga like Luna wasn't even there.

"Come on."

"Luna he said no." Ruka stepped in to prevent Luna from nagging at Natsume.

"Hyuuga? Where have I heard that before?" I asked.

"It's Natsume's surname you big idiot," Hotaru said. Harsh much?

"So does that mean his family is running the ball?"

"Yep."

Well today was an eventful day. Getting an actual friend, getting kicked out of the Natsume and Ruka's Fan Club, and ending my so-called friendship with Luna. I just took my shower and was now sneaking down the stairs to get a snack. My hair was down, and still soaking wet. I had slipped into my comfortable silk jammies, which were this adorable shade of light pink. Most of my maids were gone, or sleeping elsewhere in the house, so everything was silent and worse of all, dark. I opened the humongous fridge and examined its contents. Hmmm... What do I even like? I'll just have some strawberries. I closed the fridge door, and was about to go to the sink to wash my strawberries, when I heard someone whisper my name. "Mikan." I pretty much freaked out and dropped the contents in my hands. I turned around to find a strange person behind me. He was actually one of the guys I saw standing next Persona and Natsume at the food court.

When he saw I was about to scream, he ran over to me and covered my mouth. "Will you stop freaking out? It's just me Tsubasa!" He had black hair, which matched his dark colored eyes. His most interesting feature though, was the small star tattoo right beneath his eye. His attire was perfect for wandering around at night. He wore a navy blue t-shirt with casual jeans and black sneakers.

What does he want? Did he come here to hurt me? I don't know! He knows Natsume and who ever Persona is. I stopped fighting his grip and tried to calm down. Let's use this encounter to my advantage and find some information out. When he saw me relax, he released me and uncovered my mouth. "What do you want?"

"Like you don't already know, Persona wants you again." I really need to figure out who this Persona person is.

"For what?" His phone rang and he answered it.

"What!... I'm with her now... Yes I delivered the message...right away." He shut the phone and began his way towards the window he must of come in through. It was one of the many windows of this large house, which I'm starting to dread having. I need to remind the maids to lock those at night. "Gotta go. Meet us at the Hyuuga ball next week!" He jumped out the window and disappeared in the night.

"Wait!" I shouted running over to the window, but he was already gone. "What does Persona want?" I mumbled to myself. I groaned in frustration and stomped my way back up to my room.

What the hell just happened?

* * *

**Chapter 7: Natsume**

"Oi baka! Enough with the hiccups!"

"Sorry- _hiccup!- _I can't help it!" _Hiccup!_

"Well do something about it, I'm trying to get some shut eye."


	7. Natsume

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Natsume**

"Hotaruuuu!" I came running up to my cold blooded friend after school. Today was an extremely boring day in class, and I just about missed everything the teacher was talking about. That's only because I was too deep in thought the entire time about everything going on in my life right now. Plus, I had a really bad case of the hiccups in class. Poor Natsume, he looked like he was about ready to strangle me. But I'm putting to much thought into it, and that's exactly why me and Hotaru are going to the mall today. I was surprised at first when Hotaru asked me, but I know it's just because she's worried about me.

I was about to hug her when she pulled out her baka gun and shot me three times in the head. "Ow! What was that for?" Her stupid baka gun is going to leave a bruise one of these days.

"I've already told you this... because you're stupid." I rolled my eyes and stood back up, after being so rudely knocked down. Then I put back on a smile and began happily skipping my way to the car. Hotaru calmly followed behind me.

Truth be told, I am a bit worried. The last time I remember coming to this mall, I saw the mystery man named Persona. His presence in my life gave me an uneasy feeling, and I don't like it. Plus ever since last nights break in, my anxiety has only increased. He wants something from me, but I have no idea what it is! I wish Tsubasa could of been a little more specific on what he wants from me. Also, what was the point of breaking in? There are much easier ways of getting my attention. Like, I don't know, knocking on the front door. Then again...

If I was the old me, the one from before the accident, would I of even talked to him willingly? I mean that time I saw Natsume at the mall, I completely ignored him. Even after he asked me to talk to him I blew him off. This Tsubasa guy is no different. He is from the same group, knows the same things about me, and has personally met me before.

"Baka, we're here." Out of the corner of my eye I caught Hotaru getting ready to pull out her baka gun. I quickly jumped out of the car before she could get a chance to pull the trigger. Phew! Now time to do some shopping! I was about to take my first step towards the mall when... BAKA! Hotaru shot me! "Let's go look for some dresses for the Hyuuga ball," she nonchalantly said, just casually walking around my disgruntled body, that lied lifeless on the ground.

-Natsume's POV-

Today was a really crappy day. First off, in class, it was all review for me. The saddest part about it though, was I actually had to pay attention. That's because half way through class I finished my manga. Usually I would just take a nap, but this irritating brunette...

_Hiccup! _I looked to my left to find a surprised Polka Dots covering her mouth. _Hiccup! _How funny! Even though I was probably the only one who could hear her, she looked extremely embarrassed. _Hiccup! _Okay now it's getting annoying.

"Oi baka! Enough with the hiccups!"

"Sorry- _hiccup!- _I can't help it!" _Hiccup!_

"Well do something about it, I'm trying to get some shut eye." I glared at her as she continued to hiccup. Doesn't she know your supposed to hold your breath or drink something. This girl really is an idiot. I tried shutting my eyes to sleep when...

_Hiccup! _That's it. I turned to her and was about to scold her when the bell rang. _Hiccup! _"Hehe," she nervously laughed as she backed away out of her seat, "saved by the bell." _Hiccup! _She dashed out of the room, very much aware of my intent to kill her. (Not literally of course.)

After school I simply planned on going home, starting up on a new manga, and enjoying the peace and quiet of my house. Of course my plans always seem to get ruined one way or another. "Natsume!" I looked behind me to find Ruka and Tsubasa running after me. What now?

"Hn." They caught up and I continued walking with them at my side. You could hear Tsubasa's loud breathing on my side, and I just glared at him in irritation. Get into shape already.

"Persona wants to meet up with us again," Ruka nervously said. He knows I have always hated meeting up with Persona.

"Doesn't he always?"

"We probably have another big job coming up," Tsubasa frowned, "he asked me to get Mikan again." What? How come I didn't hear about this?

"Really?" Ruka eagerly asked.

"Yeah, it's going to happen during the Hyuuga ball thing."

"I still feel bad for Mikan," Ruka said looking down at his toes.

"Yeah she has always been Persona's favorite. Besides Natsume of course."

That part, as frustrating as it is, is most certainly true...

_"Oh, was that Mikan," Persona asked as I looked at where his eyes were. I could see a retreating figure leaving the food court with someone else. It's Mikan..._

_"You should go ask her to meet me again," Persona insisted._

_"Again? Didn't you just ask her a few weeks ago?" Tsubasa complained, obviously getting mad at Persona._

_"Ahh... but she's my favorite." I glared at Persona, but he didn't even flinch. Instead he smirked and once again ordered me to go get her. There's no resisting Persona. As much as I hate to say it, he always seems to win._

_I followed her out to the garage, where I saw her talking to Luna. That's when the slut saw me, and came rushing over to me. "Natsume!" Must she insist on doing that to me every time she sees me? "Get off slut." She didn't budge and began hugging me even tighter than before. This is pissing me off._

_"Natsume." The little girl noticed me and walked up to me. She tried smirking and brushed her finger along my chest. If I had known she wasn't just acting, I might have enjoyed that little finger act. But she's pretending, so now I'm just annoyed. "So what brings us the pleasure of seeing you here?"_

_"I need to talk to you." I knew she already knew what I was going to say. But still, her smile faltered._

_"Natsume, why do you need to talk to her?" Luna's annoying voice pierced my ears, and she once again attempted to throw herself on me._

_"I don't know," Polka Dots trained her eyes on me and once again smiled, "maybe I'll just talk to you later. Not really feeling the mood." Why can't she just cut the crap?_

_"There is no mood. We need to talk," I stated matter-of-factually. Both these girls are starting to test my patience._

_"Luna, let's go." She grabbed Luna's greedy wrist and pulled her away. "See you tomorrow Natsume." She sounded like a fan girl wishing she could meet her favorite idol._

_I hate how she always seems to find a way to avoid me. She blew me an air kiss and I just rolled my eyes and walked away. I'll have to talk to her later I guess._

_I waited for her to get back to her house. I know that's kind of stalker-ish, but I need to talk to her about Persona and its what I do. Luna's car came pulling up into the large driveway that was in front of the mansion. They were talking about something, when the stupid girl finally got out and walked over to Luna's window. "If it makes you feel any better, Ruka has always been my favorite." That strangely just made me extremely mad. Stupid Polka!_

_She walked up to her front door, still completely oblivious to my presence. "Can we talk now?" She turned around and scowled when she saw it was me. She then changed her expression and pretended to look happy._

_"Doesn't really look like I have a choice. Unless you want to come inside..." She said it seductively and it was tempting... but no._

_"Drop the act."_

_"Who said I was acting?" She said, still trying to act clueless. When I didn't say anything back, she sighed. "What do you want?"_

_"It's not what I want, it's what Persona wants."_

_"What! Again? It's only been a couple of weeks!" She walked up to me and glared at me, obviously angry and upset._

_"There isn't anything I can do about it." She rolled her eyes and walked back up the stairs to her mansion._

_"Fine."_

_"Meet us at the hotel, tomorrow, at six."_

_"Okay..." She turned the handle and opened up the door to her house. Then she turned around with a smirk on her face. "Want to come in?" She asked, putting her annoying act back up again._

_"Dream on, Polka dots."_

_"Natsume! STOP CALLING ME THAT!" She stomped inside her house and slammed the door. Tomorrow was going to be a long day._

_-End of Natsume's POV. Now it's Mikan's POV-_

"Oooh! Hotaru you should wear this one!" I took a gorgeous violet dress off the hanger. On Hotaru it would look perfect! It would snug her beautifully, without making her look slutty, and compliment her eyes. She hesitantly left to try it on. When she came out I squealed in excitement. She looked gorgeous, even though she always does.

She ended up buying that dress, and I got my own too. We finished buying the rest of the things like the masks, shoes, and jewelery. I was having fun!

That's when I saw...

* * *

**Chapter 8: All You Can Eat Preview**

"Oi Polka!" I looked to my right to find a not so happy Natsume. Why was he talking to me anyways? Could it be... he's confessing his love!


	8. All You Can Eat

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

* * *

**Chapter 8: All You Can Eat**

Then I saw...

"Hotaru let's go there!" I grabbed Hotaru by the wrists, and before she could complain, I dragged her away.

"Baka, where are you taking me!" She annoyingly asked.

"To Central's All You Can Eat Buffet!"

"Why?"

"Because it sounds like fun! Ever since loosing my memory, I can't recall half the stuff I enjoy eating. So what better way is there to grasp what my taste buds are like than going to an all you can eat buffet?"

"Oh my god! This is so good. What is this called again?" Hotaru just looked at me like I was the stupidest person in the world. Maybe I was, but that doesn't matter right now. All that matters is me trying every single food this buffet has o offer.

"A cookie, you dumb ass." I pouted and looked back at my plates after plates of food. So far I have tried about twenty different types of food. First I tried some pizza, then shrimp, then a baked potato, a salad, some strawberry cheesecake, vanilla ice cream, blueberry pie, and... you get the idea. Any normal person would be sick after eating all this food, but I can proudly say I'm not normal.

"I know! But what kind?" She rolled her eyes and ate another one of her crab brains. That is the only thing she has gotten out of this whole buffet, and when I tried one I nearly puked. They were nasty! But apparently they are her favorite.

"Strawberry."

"Whoa, that makes sense!" When I said that, I felt like a five year old. I'm acting really immature about this whole thing. Oh well!

Hotaru stopped giving me an annoying glare and looked at me. "Mikan. I've done a little digging around about you're past."

"Really! What did you find out?"

"Not much, do you know how you got in a coma?"

"Well yeah, it was some sort of brain damage." This is the first time I realized what had really happened. I had been abandoned, in the middle of winter, injured and in an alley. What was I doing there in the first place? Who had given me that injury? And why had I been left there?

"Correct," she continued on, "but the accuser didn't really harm you in any way."

"Uh, yeah he did! I got put in a coma for peets sake."

"You were gone for weeks, Mikan. Not including the week you were in a coma. No cuts or bruises, just the one on your head which caused your coma."

"So..." I still don't get it. Where is she taking this?

"So what happened to you during that time? Yes, every once in a while you would up and disappear. But that's because you wanted to go on a "little" vacation. This time around you weren't in Hawaii, like everyone thought. The mystery is where did you go and why were you there? Mikan, are you sure don't know anything."

"I don't know Hotaru. If I did, then I wouldn't be so scared right now!" The mood of this trip suddenly changed after I yelled at Hotaru out of anger. It feels like she's pressuring me, that I'm the only one to solve this mystery. It can't just be me though, to figure it out, because I'm not the only one involved. Hotaru's involved, Persona's involved, Natsume and Tsubasa are also involved. We all know something different and it all somehow means something. I just don't what and that's leaving me completely frustrated. not knowing is basically the scariest thing.

I nodded at Hotaru and gave her a quick smile. I was glad she found out about my memory loss. It's a shame she wasn't there when all this was happening.

That night all I could think about was my past. Yes, my knowledge about it is very little, but it's my past. And as much as I hate to admit it, it's who I am. It's also what everyone defines me by.

I looked at the many designs my plain white ceiling makes. The swirls of the paint brush and the fine lines creased permanently there. Imagine how many nights I have lied here, in this position, thinking the same thing. What have I done with my life? Those were my last thoughts before shutting my eyes for the night.

-Natsume's POV-

I can't seem to think straight tonight. I have been tossing and turning for the past... who knows how long! Grr, this is getting annoying. Persona's meeting from earlier today is weighing heavy on my mind. Not only that, but Tusbasa, Ruka, and I all agree that Polkadots has been acting strangely ever since her "vacation." Should I even call it that?

She was taken. She was kidnapped! Right in front of me too...

In that situation I couldn't do anything, and that makes me feel like crap. She's completely oblivious of what happened too!

After the weeks she was kidnapped, she wasn't at school. Maybe something happened during that time period that has made her behavior different. She's starting to act the way she did before. She even acted strangely confused about the Polka Dot ordeal.

I guess this means I'm going to have to confront her, before she does something stupid and gets someone in trouble.

"Damn that Polka Dots!"

-End of Natsume's POV and it's now Mikan' POV-

"Stop calling me that! PERVERT!" I woke up screaming and waving my fists in the air. Huh? What was I even dreaming about? Strange...

What to do? What to do? I'm currently in math class, and it is another boring day. The teacher has been yapping on about something regarding circumpolar circles, arc measures, and radii. Who knows what he's talking about?

"Oi Polka!" I looked to my right to find a not so happy Natsume. Why was he talking to me anyways? Could it be... he's confessing his love! Just kidding...

No, maybe he just wants to talk to me about Persona. According to my last memory, that's all he ever talks to me about. I leaned in closer so I could talk to him in private. "What," I whispered so no one else could hear. I still need to figure out what Polka Dots is supposed to mean. I don't know why but it pisses me off.

"Meet me at the hotel today, after school." The hotel? I thought he didn't want me at the hotel. He did after all pin me to a wall, warning me to never set foot in that hotel again. And here he is telling me to go meet him there.

"O-Okay," I said, still unsure about him inviting me there. He's like a woman, always changing his mind.

I sat back up into a normal position, and pretended to pay attention. Of course I couldn't stop the dumb expression that was creeping onto my face right now. My face looked like I was thinking way too hard, which I kind of was. Or you could say I looked constipated, which I'm not by the way.

The all so familiar stair case to the hotel stood before me. It has almost been a week since I was last here. Today is like any other winter day, cold. When I got home, I quickly changed into more suitable clothing and then came straight here. Now I'm wearing a pair of jeans with a simple royal blue long sleeve. I'm wearing black boots and a thick dress up jacket. Why is it so cold? I'm pretty sure I can see my own breathe. Now that I think about it, I don't even know the name of this hotel. I looked up at the large golden letters above my head. The Hyuuga Hotel.

Wait! Hyuuga? Does that mean Natsume's family owns this place? Thousands of scenarios went through my mind that could of happened in the hotel. Okay think Sakura! What did you do that made Natsume threaten you from never coming back?

Well I am rich and when we followed him here, Luna said the food was great at the restaurant. So there is a possibility I just came here to eat a lot. But the door person didn't recognize me! Maybe he's new and just needed to hear my name to know who I was. That sounds great and all, but I don't imagine myself getting banished from the hotel for simply eating at a restaurant.

No there is a chance I did something way worse. It's not everyday a person gets mad enough to pin you against a wall. Unless Natsume is just weird like that. Hmmm... what did I do?

Oh joy...

* * *

**Chapter 9: And so the truth came out...**

"What?" He walked over to me and looked me straight in the eye.

"Now answer my question. Why have you been acting so stupid lately?"


	9. And so

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

* * *

**Chapter 9: And so the truth came out...**

I slowly made my way up the stairs to the hotel. Then once I was inside, I sluggishly made my way to Natsume, who was waiting for me by the elevator. I really, really don't want to talk to Natsume right now! What if I mess up again?

Even though I have no idea what I did in the first place!

"H-Hello Natsume!" I nervously gave him a smile, but he just replied with a frown and an intimidating glare. Well then.

"Come on, we need to talk." He grabbed my wrist and dragged me into the elevator.

Once again we were the only ones in there. The crummy elevator music played in the background, while I nervously stood on the opposite end of the elevator. I don't know what I'm so nervous about. I mean he's the one who invited me. There is no reason for him to blow up in my face and threaten me again. Just chill Mikan.

Then another thought wandered through my mind...

Okay breathe! I'm a girl he's a guy, and a handsome one at that. We're going to be alone in a hotel together. But Natsume isn't like that! Right? This elevator music isn't helping either!

He could sense my uneasiness, because that's when he slightly turned to face me. "Don't worry. Persona isn't here today." What, Persona? What does he have to do with this, and my nervousness?

"R-Right," I put my hand behind my head and sighed. Now I really need to find out more about Persona. Natsume turned back to face the elevator door, and that's when it slid open.

Without further ado he walked out of the elevator, me at his tail. "So Natsume, what did you want to talk to me about?"

We continued walking and I began to think he was ignoring me. "Are you stupid?"

"Huh?" I looked at his back, which was several steps in front of me. We passed room after room and continued walking. "Excuse me? How rude!" I just asked a simple question! There's no shame in that. Is it stupid of me to be curious of why he brought me to this hotel, after telling me to never step foot in it again? I don't think so.

Natsume stopped at the last door in the hall and took out his key. He slid it through the key hole and it opened up. "Then tell me. Why have you been acting so stupid lately?"

There was no doubt in my mind, this hotel was built for rich people. This room was huge! Which I shouldn't be impressed by, because my house has impressive rooms too. But this is a hotel. The room had a large kitchen, with everything included. There were three bedrooms, each with a king sized bed. Then there was what looked like a living room, with a impressive plasma TV.

"Nastume, why did you bring me here?" I turned around to look at Natsume, who was still standing next to the door. He shut it and then locked it with his key.

"Privacy."

"What?" He walked over to me and looked me straight in the eye.

"Now answer my question. Why have you been acting stupid lately?"

-Natsume's POV-

I shut the door behind me and locked it, preventing anyone from getting in or out. This conversation was vital. I need to figure out what's wrong with this stupid little girl. Tsubasa, Ruka, and I all agree her behavior lately can certainly screw some things up. "Privacy." She looked at me dumbfounded. This is how I know something is wrong with her. Usually she would of walked over to me and try to think of something "fun" to do. Then persuade me to do it with her. She used to have this ridiculous fan girl act that she would put on. But now she's acting oblivious to it.

"What?"

"Now answer my question. Why have you been acting stupid lately?" I looked straight into her chocolate colored orbs and awaited for her answer. Of course she just looked a me with more confusion. Maybe I'm being too vague. "Ever since you came back from your kidnapping-"

"Wait, who said I was kidnapped? And how do you anything about where I was?"

"Persona told me." Mikan should know this by now. Persona told me to keep tabs on her, and make sure she doesn't become to big of a nuisance. That's how I knew she was kidnapped! Hell, I was there when it happened.

_I was just casually following her home, like I always do. Trust me, I'm not a stalker. It was simply my orders from Persona to do this on a regular basis. Lately, Mikan has been catching on, and constantly telling me to go away. Of course I can't. When I tried telling her Persona ordered me to do it, she slammed the door in my face. It was probably a mistake to talk to her about Persona in front of her house. Somehow I think she already knew why I was following her around though. She probably just didn't want to talk to me about Persona._

"_You know it's creepy how you constantly follow me." Even though she was at least a block ahead, I could still hear her loud and clear. Her voice is loud and annoying like always. Since she already knew I was there, I caught up to her._

"_I would think you'd like it, knowing as how you're a member of my fan club." This irked her. She pouted and continued to swing the plastic bag in her hand back and forth. We had just come from the gas station, where she bought several candy bars and a donut. She's going to get fat if she eats all that crap._

"_Oh shush."Then she turned to me and gave me a smile. "Unless you really want another fan girl on your hands." She threw herself on me and giggled. "Natsume your so smart and handsome... blah, blah, blah." She was just rambling on and on and on. Then I realized she was still hugging me as we walked._

"_Hands off Polka." This gave me a side punch in the ribs. It didn't hurt that much, but it was what I got for calling her Polka. She hated that name, which of course only makes me want to call her it even more. Plus, it got her to let go, didn't it?_

"_You know I don't like being called that," she angrily ranted, " you're such a freakin' pervert!" It's only logical that she would hate that nickname. It was given to her because of her underwear after all._

"_Ahhh!" Polka dots let out a loud scream. What the hells going on? IT all happened so fast when a man came up from behind Polka and grabbed her, holding her in his arms. I was about to go attack him, when another man came up from behind me. He hit me straight in the back of the head with a crow bar. What a cheep shot! I found myself on my knees and losing consciousness._

_What were Polka's screams turned into muffled noises. There was nothing I could do, because I was already on the ground, practically unconscious._

"_What do you mean she was kidnapped?" I asked Persona, who just replied by laughing in my face. Right after the incident, I had woken up in a hotel room. By the looks of it, it was the Hyuuga hotel. Ruka had found me lying there and took me back here. Everyone seemed not to shocked about this __whole fiasco, except me. Of course most people wouldn't be able to sense my surprise, just my anger. I was the one in charge of watching her, yet she got taken._

"_It's just as it sounds. She was kidnapped."_

_If it wasn't for the power he held, I would of punched him in the face by now. Maybe even more than that. If anything I would probably kill that man!_

"Persona?"

"Yes, Persona. Little girl what's going on?" She could sense the seriousness in my voice and I expected her to put up more of a fight. Instead she just looked down at the ground like it was her most prized possession.

-Mikan's POV-

How can I lie to him? This guys gaze is impossible to look at! Darn those eyes of his. At that moment I looked straight down to the ground. No matter how much I observed it's texture it wasn't interesting at all. It was a beige tiled ground and had tiny dark brown dots in it. The tile was amazingly shiny though.

Maybe I should just tell him. He's already found out something was wrong with me. Plus, I don't know what kind of excuse I could make. Also, there's no doubt in my mind, he most definitely knows who Persona is. He knows what he wants from me and why. Maybe telling him won't be so bad. He could be very helpful.

"I don't know," I shyly stated.

"You don't know what's wrong with you?" Natsume was obviously getting irritated. This man wasn't very patient. I don't know how to tell him though. This situation is kind of feeling awkward.

"No, I don't know." My head lost it's urge to look at the ground and I stared straight at Natsume. He was only inches away from my face. The mysterious crimson eyes of his just looked straight at me. He was dying to know the answer to my actions. Honestly, I was dying to tell him to, so I spit it out.

"I don't know who you are! I don't know who the hell this Persona person is! And I surely don't know what he wants from me."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you saying you don't remember." It was a question but it came out as a statement. His voice wasn't so intense any more, but it could still send shivers down a person's spine.

"Yes, Natsume. I was found in a coma in the middle of an alley. When I woke up, I couldn't remember a thing. Not about who I was or anyone for that matter. That includes you. Your kind of like a stranger to me right now! Which truthfully, scares the shit out of me." I took a deep breath and began to cry. "I don't know you! I don't anyone! You say I've been kidnapped, but I have no idea what you mean. All I know is what I've seen and been told ever since waking up!"

I had just told Natsume... everything.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Curiosity Killed the Cat Preview-**

"Fine then. I'll just kill her." My eyes widened and I looked my eyes into the crimson eyes of Hyuuga, hoping he sees my desperation. At this moment, Persona has given the decision to Hyuuga on whether I'll live or die.

"Don't kill her Persona!" He angrily spat. Persona's grasp on me released and I dropped down to the ground.


	10. Curiosity Killed the Cat

**To clarify, this chapter takes place mostly in Mikan's past. So sorry if you're confused at first.**

* * *

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Curiosity Killed the Cat**

All around there are people dancing and partying, having the time of their lives. I was feeling the same way too, until an urgent need to vomit overwhelmed me. I excused myself from my group of friends and ran down the hill, that leads to the river. Still holding my drink, I found a comfy rock and leaned my back against it.

Truthfully, I'm not the type of person to drink, but let's just call this my rebellious stage. My parents have been pissing me off, with their constant you're going to be a heiress one day. They give me no freedom and I've had about enough of it. I started high school last year, and am now fourteen. I need to get a life sooner or later. And that is exactly why I decided to sneak out and come to this party. Big mistake.

**Bang!**

I gasped after hearing the loud shot. What was that? I looked up and beyond the trees I could tell no one from the party heard that. The music was too loud. I heard muffled noises and people talking not too far behind me.

In my drunken state I crawled down to the ground and got on all fours. Slowly I peeked my head behind the rock to see what that noise was. It was what I feared...

"Who'd you give the money to?" A man was shouting in another man's face. The one who was being yelled at was all beat up and bloody. There was a man standing up behind him, holding a gun aggressively to his head. Worst of all, there was a body floating in the river. Blood was everywhere, pouring out of the body that was faced down in the water. He had been shot.

I gasped and cowered in fear. But curiosity killed the cat, and I stuck my head out again. "I don't know what you mean?" The man with the gun to his head stuttered. What was going on? I shouldn't be watching this! Stuff like this shouldn't be happening, what to do?

"We saw you steal the money! Persona won't be happy to find out a little twit like you stole his money! Now what the hell did you do with it?"

"I swear Hayate, I don't know!" The guy who was questioning the man took out his own gun. He hit the man straight in the face, causing him to bleed even more.

"Stop denying it!"

"Oi, what's going on?" I looked up to see a teenager coming down the hill, both his hands in his pockets.

"Hyuuga!" the Hayate guy gasped. Apparently, this Hyuuga was uninvited. Following him down the hill were two more teenagers. One looked a few years older than me, the first thing I noticed was the strange star shaped tattoo directly below his eye. The other one looked extremely out of place, with innocent blue eyes and boyish blonde hair. He was cute. But now's not the time to be daydreaming about any of them. What were young people doing in a situation like this?

"Yes me. Now answer my damn question. Persona wants his money already," the first teenager said. He glared at the two, looking extremely menacing. If it was me he was looking at, I would have peed in my pants.

"After we made the deal, these two idiots took off with the money," Hayate said pointing to the beat up one and the dead one still floating in the river.

"And the drugs?" he asked. Drugs? Oh dear god, what have I gotten myself into?

No matter how scared I was, my body refused to look away from the scene. Still hidden behind the rock, I felt myself tremble in fear. What if I got caught? Would I end up like that poor man floating in the river? Just the thought of it...

I turned my head back behind the rock and threw up. A little too late though. I peered back out and realized no one heard me chucking up my guts. Ew.

"Don't worry we still have them. They're in the trunk." Hayate took the gun that was in his hand and pointed it at the man's face. You could see him shaking from fear from all the way where I was. Then Hayate began to steadily lower the gun till it was pointed at the man's toes. "Now tell me. Where the money is, or else say goodbye to both your feet."

The man gulped and was about to choke out the answer when...

"Well well. What do we have here?" Oh no! That voice came from behind me. Everyone's heads turned to my direction, and before I could turn around myself, two cold hands were wrapped around my neck. They held my petite body into the air. Then he flipped me around to face him, slamming me into the rock that once worked as my camouflage. His grip on my neck tightened and I was losing air. Tears tumbled out of my eyes, and I frantically tried clawed at his arms for him to release me. But to no avail.

"What's going on?" a person's voice asked from behind me, but I couldn't tell who it was. "Persona?" The same man asked.

"Yes, I came here to see what was the hold up. And look at what I found." He pulled me forward and slammed me against the rock again. I felt like my back could fall to pieces any second from now.

"What to do with her?" He released me and I fell back to the ground, desperately gasping for air. I am in no position to run, so I will have to compromise.

"Mikan!" I frantically looked up to see my two friends coming down the hill. Persona looked at them too and just smirked. They screamed when they saw the scene. Of course we were too far off and the music from the party was so loud, no one would hear their frantic screams. Men I didn't recognize tackled the two screaming girls and brought them before Persona and me.

The whole time I pathetically remained sitting on the ground, unable to produce words. I'm pretty sure I'm hyperventilating. What's gonna happen to my friends? This is my fault! What's gonna happen to me?

Right then and there Persona took out a silver gun and fired two shots. Both went straight threw the heads of the two girls. Their blood flying across my face, and their bodies dropping dead. "NO!" I shouted, continuously screaming. This wasn't happening! I did not just see my two friends die.

"Persona what are you doing?" An angered voice yelled. He walked over to us, and behind my tears I could see it was the Hyuuga person from before, his eyes filled with frightening anger.

"Eavesdropping is very bad. Didn't your parents ever tell you that?" Ignoring the boy, he grinned and walked over to me. He held my chin up with his hands, forcing me to look at his handsome face. Black hair tied back in a small ponytail, purple eyes, and a peculiar cross tattoo directly below his right eye. That is the face of my future killer.

"What- what a-are you g-going to do to m-me?" I asked, barely able to speak.

"Maybe you can be useful," he simply said. Then he looked at the boy standing behind him. He too was extremely handsome, with messy black hair, crimson eyes, and a strong build. "Don't you think Natsume?"

"I won't let you get another person wrapped up in your games, Persona," he growled. Persona just chuckled at this and forced me to stand up.

Then, I could feel a cold metal pressed hard against the side of my head. I knew right away, it was his gun. "Fine then. I'll just kill her." My eyes widened and I looked my eyes into the crimson eyes of Hyuuga, hoping he sees my desperation.. At this moment, Persona has given the decision to Hyuuga on whether I'll live or die.

"Don't kill her Persona!" He angrily spat. Persona's grasp on me released and I dropped down to the ground.

That was the start of it all...

What the hell? I raised my body up quickly, gasping for air. I was breathing extremely hard and covered in cold sweat. Once again, I could tell, I was in the hospital. My heart was beating extremely fast and you could hear the beeping of the machine, following its quick beat.

This time, I wasn't alone. To the right of me I could see Hotaru lowering the magazine she must have been reading from her face. She must have been notified that I was in the hospital. "Mikan are you alright?" She asked, sitting up to get a better look at me.

"I don't know Hotaru." I said, beginning to cry. She just cradled me in her arms as I loudly released my emotions.

Everything was going through my mind. How I was nearly killed, how Natsume saved me, how my friends were killed right before me, and how it was my fault.

* * *

**Chapter 11: Perverted Eyes and Underwear Nicknames**

_"Well I better get going," she said sitting up. Luckily her skirt was no longer flipped up, so Ruka didn't see a thing._

_"Where are you going Polka-dots?" She looked at me strange, before finally realizing the last bit. Her eyes widened and her face reflected the color of a ripe tomato._

_"What's Polka-dots mean?" Ruka asked._


	11. Perverted Eyes and Underwear Nicknames

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Perverted Eyes and Underwear Nicknames**

When I had woken up in the hospital, I cried myself to sleep in Hotaru's arms. Even though it feels like I haven't known her for long, I still love her. And that is why I will tell no one, except Natsume, about what I remembered. It was too frightening and far too painful to tell to anyone else.

At least now I know more about Persona. And that is exactly why I am too scared to wake up right now.

That's right, I'm pretending to sleep, while Natsume Hyuuga casually watches me. Hotaru had left and now I'm in here with this guy. Jeez, this is creepy too. I know he's sitting there, thinking god knows what. The only thing that's worrying me is why he is sitting there. I did pass out right in front of him. Of all the times...

_-Flashback-_

_"Yes, Natsume. After my kidnapping I got into a coma. When I woke up, I couldn't remember a thing. Not about who I was or anyone for that matter. That includes you. Your kind of like a stranger to me right now! Which truthfully scares the shit out of me!" No Mikan. You will not cry! Dammit. The tears stung as they forcefully made their way out._

_I stared at the ground the whole time, fists clenched and crying. When I didn't hear a response, I got worried. That's when he did something unexpected, he hugged me. Tight. I don't know what Natsume and mine relationship was, but I do know that that hug comforted me. It made me feel safe and like all my problems didn't exist._

_"So that's why you've been acting strange lately," he calmly said. Not wanting to speak words, I nodded in agreement._

_Of course my amnesia had to come and ruin the moment. My head erupted in pain and I blacked out, right in his arms._

_-End of Flashback-_

I groaned and quickly sat up to look at Natsume in annoyance. He didn't know I was awake the whole time, but it was unnerving knowing he was staring at me. Just like all those times in school when I know he is staring at me, but I am too afraid to say anything. "About time you woke up. I was getting lonely," he said in a joking manner. Then he smirked as I just fumed in anger. I know it was just two lousy sentences, but it still drove me crazy the way he said it.

"Whatever," I mumbled under my breath. Then I turned back to Natsume. Why is he here anyway?

"So, Hotaru told me you woke up crying and all sweaty. Care to explain," he cockily announced.

"Why are you here anyway?" I asked trying to avoid the subject. I was going to tell him, just not when he demands it the way he just did. Plus I was curious. Natsume doesn't seem like the type to wait for you to wake up by your hospital bed.

"Eh eh eh. No avoiding telling me," he said, waving his finger back and forth. "I know you too well."

"Fine," I said admitting defeat. Then I crossed my arms and sat up straight, refusing to make eye contact. Then I told him the content of my dream. He just sat there the whole time, making more holes in my head with his intense stares. "Care to explain?" I finally asked, finishing my explanation.

"About what? What happened in your memory or why I'm here?"

"Let's start with the first one."

"I think you can probably figure most of it out on your own, unless your that stupid. Which may be true."

"Not the point!"

"Okay, so pretty much that's where we first met. You see I work for Persona in a very shady business known as drug dealing. Anyways that day Hayate, another employee of Persona, made a drug deal with some gangsters. They were told to bring us a hefty amount of money, in exchange, we'd give them the drugs. It wasn't the cheap stuff either, so Persona was looking forward to his paycheck.

Hayate and his buddies decided to make the deal by the river, where your friend decided to host a party. The idiots screwed up and two gangsters stole Persona's cash from the deal. Of course they stashed it away. So when Hayate finally caught them he shot one in the head, just to prove a point to the other. Then he beat the crap out of the other guy, hoping to get some decent information on where his money was.

That's where I come in. Persona was getting impatient at the meet up point, so Tsubasa, Ruka, and I all took off to figure out what was taking so long. Well you know the rest. Persona found you, killed your buddies, and then decided to spare you."

"Why did he spare me?" Persona said I would be useful. For what? That was the million dollar question I needed to find out.

"Because he thought you could be useful to him."

"How so?" Come on Natsume just spit it out.

"In all sorts of ways. Persona likes to play games, mess with peoples lives. And that's exactly what he's been doing to you for the past two years," he said as his voice raised. He was getting mad. "He uses you to amuse him Mikan. He always says he's your favorite toy," Natsume growled.

"But what does he do to me Natume?" I asked, partially shouting. He didn't even get a chance to answer, because a knock was heard at the door.

"Hello, Mikan. Remember me? I'm your therapist." There she stood in the flesh. A lot has happened since I last talked to her. I actually have something to talk to her about this time around. But maybe I should keep my mouth shut. This isn't something you go around telling other people.

"Um, hello," I sweetly said, giving her a smile. She then adverted her attention to Natsume and was about to ask him to leave. "Uh, can he stay?" Truthfully, I didn't want Natsume to leave. Who knows the next time I'd get to talk to him. This conversation is far from over.

"Of course," she grinned at me and took a seat beside my bed. Right across from Natsume. He was just casually sitting on his chair, leaning back. I could tell he was giving my therapist a threatening glare, but I just shrugged it off.

I looked at Natsume and then at my therapist and realized I was still in a hospital gown. Wow, that's embarrassing. "Um, may I please have some clothes?"

"Sure." She got up to go get me some clothes, while Natsume sat there smirking. Please tell me he didn't see anything!

"You know, I used to call you polka-dots but now... I'm kind of liking strawberry fields." My face flushed and I felt the heat rise in my face. Why did I wear strawberry printed underwear today?

"AHHHH! NATSUME YOU BIG MEANY PERVERTED JERK!" Not even taking notice to my shouting, he just smirked.

-Natsume's POV-

It's nice to have Strawberries back. I remember the first time I got a peek at her undies. She should really learn how to wear pants underneath her skirt. You never know who may be looking. Especially because no other man, besides myself of course, should be taking a look at something they shouldn't. That something being Polka's undies.

_"So Mikan's coming to Gakuen Alice today right?" Ruka cheerfully asked._

_"Hn." She was coming today. Ever since Persona found that annoying little girl, he has taken a great interest in her. It just simply pisses me off. Now he is forcing her to join Gakuen Alice._

_"Okay sunshines! I would like you to meet our brand new student, Mikan Sakura!" The girl came walking into the room, with a faint smile on her face. Even though it was faint, it was surprising. Her parents just died a week ago, and she has it in her to afford a small smile._

_"Mikan?" Hotaru, the evil blackmailer, asked. Didn't think she would ever care enough about a person to say something to them._

_"What are you doing here?" Mikan coldly snapped. Like I thought, she's going to refuse to warm up to others. After what Persona did, I'm not surprised._

_"I go here baka."_

_Mikan glared at Hotaru and walked over to her. "Hotaru I don't want you talking to me anymore. I'm sick and tired of wasting my time on your cold attitude and blackmailing ways. It disgusts me! And now that my parents aren't here anymore, I don't have to be friends with the lonely neighbor down the street." What an interesting way to make an entrance._

_She walked over towards the desk she was assigned to sit at, which just had to be next to me. All eyes were on her as she patiently made her way to her seat. It was irritatingly quiet. "Do you have something to say?" she asked the class. So the stares annoyed her too._

_"No. You're fine. I'm Luna by the way." The slut strutted her way over towards Mikan and whispered something into her ear. Mikan smirked and turned her head towards me._

_"So you're Natsume? Sure Luna I'll join." Wait did she just join the fan club? No, of all people to have to join, it had to be this annoying little girl who wears polka-dotted panties!_

_Wait... Polka-dotted panties. When she sat down, her skirt must of got flipped wrongly because I could see her underwear as clear as day. I smirked and she just looked at me questioningly. Of course I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing why. Not yet anyway..._

_"So, you joined our fan-club?" Ruka asked, after everyone filed out of the room._

_"Yeah. Don't give yourself the satisfaction though. It just felt like the right thing to do at the time."_

_"Okay," Ruka said. This whole time he has had his eyes peeled on Polka. Is this a crush?_

_"Well I better get going," she said sitting up. Luckily her skirt was no longer flipped up, so Ruka didn't see a thing._

_"Where are you going Polka-dots?" She looked at me strange, before finally realizing the last bit. Her eyes widened and her face reflected the color of a ripe tomato._

_"What's Polka-dots mean?" Ruka asked. Of course neither of us responded. No, I was too busy smirking while waiting for Mikan's reaction. She was too busy being dumbfounded and processing what I had seen. We held each others stares for several seconds before she finally broke it._

_"NATSUME I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAW IT! WHEN? HOW? JEEZ, YOUR SUCH A PERVERT!" she then stomped out of the room leaving with, "go to hell!"_

_I couldn't help but stifle out a laugh._

_-_End of Natsume 's POV, Start of Mikan's POV-

Some day I'm gonna kill that man.

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**Chapter 12: What is Natsume saying?**

"Wait! You still haven't told me why you came here," he stopped, still facing the door.

"Can't I just visit my favorite Strawberries when she's in the hospital?"


	12. What is Natsume saying?

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

* * *

**Chapter 12: What is Natsume saying?**

Eh... talking to my therapist. I remember that, definitely not a fond memory.

"Is there anything you want to talk about? How about regarding your memories," the therapist asked. Yes, there's lots I want to talk about! It's just a matter of if I should or not. Plus there's always Hotaru, and as much as it pains me to say it, there's Natsume too. He may be the better option because he actually knows everything already.

"Hmm... well I have gotten two of my memories back."

"Are they significant in your life or just small fluffs of your life?"

"Does it matter?" I asked. She gave me the look, the look grown ups give you as their last warnings I became more serious. "I don't know really. The first one just felt like it was a regular day, but the second... the second was a definite landmark in my life."

"How do you feel when getting back one of your dreams?"

"Truthfully, it just feels like I'm living it right then and there. All the emotions, what I feel, everything that occurs in that moment." She nodded at my answer and began scribbling things down.

To my discomfort, we were still in my hospital room. She had given me a change of clothes and I got into them. And no, I did not change in front of Natsume! I'm still upset about the whole seeing my underwear thing, but it's not that big of a deal, right? Let's just forget that ever happened.

Ever since my therapist came back, Natsume hasn't spoken a word. He has just been silently listening in on the conversation, while sitting next to the chair beside my bed. I still don't know why he came here though and waited for me to wake up. As nice as it would be for him to be there because he cared that much, I know that's not the reason. He probably just came to tell me something important. Hopefully it's regarding my past. I'm kind of getting more and more curious about it.

"Do you feel motivated to learn more about your past?" When she asked that, I curiously looked over at Natsume. He met my gaze and I began to question if I did or not. Yes I want to know, and I do feel curious. But from what Natsume said about Persona, makes me some-what fear my past. Do I really want to remember and relive what could be a tragic past.

I looked back at my therapist, who was still awaiting my answer. "Yes." Even though I am still unsure if that is what I really want, yes will be my answer for now.

The therapist asked me a few more questions and left the room to just me and Natsume. Awkward silence. I stared at the boring white wall of the hospital room. This would be my third time having to wake up in this depressing room. Then a strange thought ventured into my mind...

Some one could of died in here. I knew right then and there I looked nauseous.

"Do you really want to remember?" he asked me. I snapped out of my thoughts and faced Natsume.

"Truthfully, I don't know," I said in return.

"You should take your time and remember things on your own." Then without saying another word he sat up and made his way to the door.

"Wait! You still haven't told me why you came here," he stopped, still facing the door.

"Can't I just visit my favorite Strawberries when she's in the hospital?" With that he exited the room. Of course when he said this, I became dumbfounded. My eyes widened and I took a gulp. Then I swear I could feel heat arise into my cheeks. Am I blushing?

No this isn't happening! It's not like he said anything truly significant, just that I was his favorite Strawberries.

Which is the pattern of my underwear... dammit. I fell back down on my bed and lied there, until the doctor came to kick me out. I was fine after all.

The sun, the oh so beautiful sun. And the breeze, so gentle against my skin. The wonderful smell of the air, so calm and natury. Is natury even a word?

Wait a second... what the hell? I opened my eyes and instantly sat up. Why was I laying on the ground, underneath the Sakura tree at school. Then it hit me, I was late for school!

This morning I actually arrived early and no one was here, so I decided to get some shut eye. I made my self a comfy little spot underneath the Sakura tree and dozed off. Lucky for me, it hasn't snowed or rained in a while. Plus the temperature hasn't been too bad.

I ran up the stairs as fast as I could, and made my way through the long halls to my class. Then I opened the door, making a loud noise. Making everyone look at me and give me funny expressions. Which probably isn't surprising, because at the moment I probably resembled an angry monkey who was refused his banana. My face was the look of ultimate determination!

Narumi, who was surprisingly teaching something, stopped what he was writing on the board and looked at me. Then I straightened myself out, and made my way towards the back. Natsume and Ruka were already here, so I slept a little longer than I previously thought. I'm never taking naps in the middle of the day again.

"Well hello there Mikan!" Narumi said, with his smile on. "Nice to see you could make it." Then he turned back to the board and continued writing something down.

**Hyuuga Ball preparations! Each student must have the following thing before attending the ball:**

**1) Mask ( It's a masquerade! Secret identities, yay! :D)**

**2) If your a girl wear very formal dress. If your a guy then you need a nice tux. (Something from this decade please!)**

**3) A partner for the last dance. (Yes it's mandatory this year!)**

"Any questions?" he asked, placing the chalk back down in its rightful place. No one raised there hands and the class was absorbed into complete silence. "Okay then." He skipped out of the room and left us to ourselves.

"How was you nap Strawberries?" he asked, whispering into my ear. How did he know about that? Stalkerish much?

"Natsume your going to be my partner!" Luna demanded coming over to his desk. She was about to give him a hug, when Sumire came along and pushed her away.

"No you're going to be my partner!" I left my desk, hoping to avoid the disaster about to unfold.

"Hotaru. By any chance can you be my partner?" I asked Hotaru. She looked at me with a stoic expression and didn't reply. It's not like it matters! Narumi never said I couldn't ask another girl. Plus, I would rather avoid the embarrassment of accidentally stepping on some unlucky man's toes. "Hotaruuuu..." She shot me with her baka gun and I went flying back a few meters.

"Your aren't supposed to ask a girl baka."

"But Narumi never-"

"Go find someone else. Strawberries is already my partner," I heard Natsume say.

I looked over at him and stormed over to him. "No I'm not! I don't remember agreeing to something like that." He pulled me down by the collar of my shirt and whispered into my ear. This action of course earned a few gasps that were heard around the room.

"Don't forget. We have Persona business that night." That's right I almost forgot. Tsubasa had come into my house, more like broke in, and told me Persona wanted me the night of the Hyuuga ball. What does that even mean? I should ask Natsume about that later on.

I didn't even get a chance to talk to Natsume, because as soon as school ended him and Ruka were gone. When I got home, I found an unexpected surprise waiting for me at my doorstep. Hotaru.

"Hey Hotaru! What are you doing here?" I would of given her a hug, but she looked serious. If that's even possible, her expression doesn't change much.

"Do you know a Hayate, Mikan?" What kind of question is that? But when I think about it, yes I do know who he is. Hayate was the man who shot and beat up that other man at the river. He works for Persona I think.

"Yeah, do you know who he is? Have you found something out?" I almost forgot I had asked Hotaru to figure some things out about my past. Has she already figured out about that indecent by the river?

"Mikan, how do you know about Hayate?"

"He was in one of my memories. The one I got when I woke up crying in the hospital."

"So you remember your kidnapping?" Huh? My kidnapping?

"What? No."

"Mikan, Hayate was the man who kidnapped you."

* * *

**Review please! That would be absolutely awesome!**


	13. A Time to Dance

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

* * *

**Chapter 13: A Time To Dance**

"Hotaru what have you found out?" I asked. I completely forgot about Hotaru doing a little research on my life. How could I be so stupid? After seeing those two girls I considered my friends, shot and killed right before my eyes. I don't want anything like that to happen again! That's why... I can't tell Hotaru.

"Hayate Matsudaire. He was your kidnapper Mikan, that's all I found out. Unless there's more to the story, what aren't you telling me Mikan? Based on your reaction to my question, and that memory you got back, I know something is up."

"Nothing, Hotaru. At least nothing you need to know," I said, my eyes beginning to tear up. I walked past her and up my door steps. Then I began fumbling for my keys, so I could quickly get into the house. That's when Hotaru grabbed me by the wrists, and forced me to look at her.

"No, I'm not letting you do this again."

"What do you mean Hotaru?"

"Two years ago when your parents died and you transferred to Alice Academy, you pushed me away. You told me I meant nothing to you and was no longer needed in your life. I know that's not true Mikan! I decided to ignore it and let you be. But now, I'm not going to let you do it again. Tell me what's wrong Mikan?" When Hotaru first discovered my amnesia, she had told me something similar. She said when my parents died, I became like a whole other person. Could I be doing the same thing now? Pushing everyone away so they can't get too close.

I couldn't hold them back anymore. One after the other slid out of my eyes and ventured down my cheeks. As I cried I desperately looked into the amethyst eyes of my dear friend. She saw this and released my arm, allowing me to get into my house. I shut the door behind me and slid down the door. Sitting down I cried for who knows how long, until someone tapped me on my shoulders. I looked up to see a worried Charla looking down at me. "Is everything alright?" she sweetly asked.

I stopped my crying and wiped away my tears. Then I stood up and nodded my head. "I'm fine. Nothing to worry about." I gave her a forced smile and walked up the stairs, into my room. The whole way up the stairs, I could feel Charla staring. She was probably looking at me with worry in her caring eyes.

Tomorrow is the Hyuuga Ball. I rolled my eyes at the thought of it and turned to my side. I was currently laying down on my bed hugging my pillow, tight, thinking about this whole situation I'm in. My life is far too complicated for a person of my age, that's what I've decided. All the other girls are probably jumping up and down in excitement for the Hyuuga Ball tomorrow. But not me!

No... I'm here lying in my room, depressed. Tomorrow isn't an exciting event in my life at all. No, it's the day I meet Persona. The man who killed my friends and threatened my life.

_This is the man who is going to end my life. _I remember thinking that the first time I ever met him, down by the river. I wonder if it's true or not. Will Persona be the one to kill me? Or will I live happily ever after? Yeah right... Persona is the one pulling the strings. And like Natsume said, he likes games, so messing with me will only bring him amusement.

Hayate Matsudaire. Hotaru said that was the name of the man who kidnapped me, which originally brought upon my amnesia. He was most definitely the man at the river, and Natsume knows him. Plus, he works for Persona. Once again, its all connected to Persona. Time to go talk to Natsume...

"What do you want Polka?" he asked. He leaned against the side of the door frame, of his front door. Surprisingly his house wasn't too hard to find. I just had to look up a couple things, and there it was. Now I'm standing on the door step of his unbelievably large house, or mansion. I'm pretty sure it's bigger than mine by far.

"Polka? Seeing my underwear at the hospital wasn't the first time, was it?" I asked, my face heating up again. How many times has this pervert seen it? I was hoping he would forget what he saw, but no. Much to my discomfort, he keeps calling me strawberries.

He smirked. Yep, strawberries wasn't the only underwear print he's seen of mine. "Maybe," he cockily said as he stood up. "Now what do you want?" he asked crossing his arms.

"Can we talk about Hayate?"

He led me through the maze he calls his house, all the way to his bedroom. For me, this is the first time being in a boy's bedroom, I think. It was a bit bigger than mine and had everything a person would need to live out of it. His furniture was a dark brown, while his bed was black with red sheets. Are they silk? Nice. Okay, back to earth Mikan.

"What about Hayate?" he asked sitting on his bed. I looked around the room and took a seat on a small chair he had, facing the bed. It was leather and made weird noises as I sat down on it, but it was comfy. Really comfy.

"Uh, Hotaru did some research about Hayate and found out he was my kidnapper. Do you know anything about this?"

"Not really. This is actually my first time hearing about this," he said, making it sound like he was thinking about something.

"Didn't he used to work for Persona?" he brought his attention back to me and answered.

"Yes. Until you got him fired." At this I gaped. Me? Get Hayate fired?

"H-how did I get him fired?" I asked.

"Well after that whole incident with Persona's money being stolen, Hayate got punished. Of course if you had never shown up, Hayate would of gotten the information he needed, and Persona would have his money. But you messed up everything and Hayate was blamed for messing up the drug deal, resulting in his firing." I guess that makes sense, but I still don't get how it's my fault. I'm not the one who lost track of my money in the first place and let someone else take it. But that's a question for another day, right now I'm thinking about my kidnapping.

"So why did he kidnap me?" Hotaru said I came out of it with only a bump on the head. Nothing else. But I was gone for a whole week! What happened and why did he kidnap me?

"Revenge probably." Instead of explaining the whole uninjured thing I decided to let his answer be. Revenge would make sense, but not harming me in anyway? What would that accomplish? From what I saw that day by the river, Hayate was a very violent man. And if he kidnapped me for revenge, somehow letting me off easy doesn't make any sense.

I nodded and began staring at the different things around his room. His walls were pretty much bare, with a few posters here and there. What I really like about his room, was the mini kitchen. It had everything a person would need to make a meal in here. There was even a small stove and oven.

"Ne, Natsume." I turned my head over to Natsume and he did the same with me. "What do I have to do tomorrow?"

"Just be my partner, and I'll take care of everything else," he confidently said.

"O-okay. But what about Persona?"

"Didn't I just say I would take care of it?" He walked over to my comfy seat and held his hand out, to help me up. "Do you even know how to dance little girl?" Once I accepted his hand, he pulled me up and I landed safely into his chest.

"I d-don't know," I nervously replied. Hide your face Mikan! I could tell I was blushing like mad, which is extremely embarrassing.

"Well then let's find out," he said, grabbing my chin and forcing my head up. He had forced me into a trap, because now I was desperately trying not to meet his powerful gaze. Which was pretty much impossible, so I gave up.

Without my realizing it, he had placed one hand on my waist and the other held my hand. My free hand was draped on his shoulder, and I followed his slow steps. We were dancing.

"Natsume, how long have I known you?" I asked. I'm pretty sure the first time I met him was down by the river, but how long ago was that?

He spun me around and then brought me back to him. "About two years now." Then we stopped dancing and he looked at me. "How much of me do you remember?"

His eyes portrayed all his emotion. And in that moment the warm, secure feeling I felt while looking into his eyes faltered. It was replaced with a sense of pain, which disappeared in the next second.

"Only the day I first met you."

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**Yeah, you need to review this chapter ;)**


	14. A Strange Visit

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

* * *

**Chapter 14: A Strange Visit From A Strange Person**

-Normal POV-

"So are the preparations for the Hyuuga ball complete?" a strange man asked, carrying a nervous smile. His wife had just scolded him on not tending to his own ball, which was going to occur the next day. The man wore his casual business suit, all black with a red tie. He wore his sandy blond hair back in a pony tail, which gave him less of a professional look. He was the rich, many businesses owner, Hyuuga himself.

The ball was taking place in his family owned hotel, the Hyuuga hotel. It was basically a charity event to raise money for his son's school, so teenagers were the main attendants. His wife, who dearly cares for her son Natsume, has been up his butt about the preparations for the past week. Now, the day before the event, he had just begun to actually start planning. Luckily for him, his many workers had already finished everything off.

"Of course, sir." The man, wearing full on butler attire bowed and then left. Leaving the strange man all alone in the dining room of his hotel. He sighed in relief and was about to leave himself.

"Excuse me. May I please speak to you Hyuuga?" He turned around to find his trusty partner in crime, Rei Serio. AKA: Persona

"Rei! It's so great to see you." Hyuuga walked over to his friend and shook his hand in delight. It had been ages since these two have seen each other.

Calming the atmosphere, Rei began to speak. "Hyuuga, if you don't mind, I have a favor to ask... It's regarding the Hyuuga Ball."

-End of Normal POV, Start of Mikan's POV-

He stopped and released me from his grasps. "You should get going," he said, refusing to look at me. Instead he stood facing the wall, only allowing me to see his back. Who's being shy now?

"Okay," I said. I recomposed my flustered state and made my way towards the door. "See you tomorrow."

As I made my way out of the mansion, trying not to get lost, my mind became a blur. What was that? And why the hell won't the heart in my freackin' chest slow down? The relationship between me and Natsume is beginning to confuse me. It's not that it already wasn't confusing, it's just...

I don't know. When I first came across him, he was completely oblivious to me. At first I thought we had no connections, but then the incident at the hotel managed to prove that part wrong. He pretty much threatened me in an elevator, leaving me completely scared and scattered brained. And then...

He started calling me by a strange nickname, Polka. Which, after the whole Strawberries incident, I can only imagine what it means. A person who has no relation or has complete hatred towards that person, would not call them by such a humiliating nickname. Also, that night, he asked why I was out so late. Now that I think about it, he could have been worried.

Not only that but the memories I got, Natsume was in both of them. He also seemed so crushed when I admitted to him the fact I didn't know him anymore, literally. This is all too confusing... and I hate it. Not only that, but that strange nostalgic feeling. I had it as I left Natsume's mansion earlier today. Like it wasn't the first time leaving Natsume's presence... feeling that way.

There is no denying the fact that Natsume Hyuuga had more to do with me than I thought. It took me long enough to officially realize this. The only question is what he meant to me... personally.

All this thinking has given me a headache. Great! I slowly rose up from my slumped position on the my bed and stumbled down the stairs. Just like the night of the break in, I made my way into the empty kitchen. Instead of coming to this destination for a midnight snack, though, I have come for a Tylenol.

Tossing and turning, that's all I've been doing all night long. Not even a wink of sleep has come to bless me. This sucks! I sulked in annoyance as I jammed the Tylenol down my throat. Not the best action...  
Pretty soon I was coughing none stop as the pill painfully made its way down my throat. Today, no correction, tonight has been plain out crappy. I'm gonna wake up tomorrow in one hell of a crappy mood. The Hyuuga Ball is tomorrow, which doesn't help my situation. Unless, maybe, I could skip school. At least that way I don't have to face Natsume so early in the morning. I'm going to be forced to see him at the ball no matter what, but that's not until night time. I can spend my entire morning tomorrow thinking about what I'm going to say to him and why I'm so set on avoiding him in the first place.

I was lazily making my way up the stairs, the pills still not kicking in. That's when that same feeling washed over me. I rushed the rest of the way up the stairs as my headache exploded into a full out migraine. My vision no longer made sense and I soon fell over, right at the top of the stairs.

"Sweety, there's someone at the door here for you!" My mother cheerfully yelled. Surprisingly, due to my house's size, I actually heard her.

Someone was here. For me? I got my lazy ass off the couch, which I was sitting comfortably in while I watched TV. Then I ran to the door to see who would possibly want to visit me besides Hotaru. I know it wasn't her because she doesn't even bother to ring the door bell. Instead she comes in uninvited like she lives here.

I ran around the last corner finally reaching the front door. Of course the man standing at the door made me stop dead in my tracks. It was one of them. One of the strange teenage boys I had seen at the river. Despite the events that occurred there, he stood there happily smiling at me. He waved to me and I just slowly made my way towards the door. My mom took her leave, leaving me with this mysterious guy.

He wouldn't hurt me, would he? I know I saw something I shouldn't but... why is he here? This anxiety is killing me! "Um...hello." That's all I could manage to say. Hello.

"Mikan Sakura. Correct?" I nodded my head and gave him a questioning look. How did he know my name? "Oh, we already found out your name. Persona already knew you because of your family's popularity." I still didn't respond. I just kind of stood there actually, completely lost in my daze. "You know... because you're rich and all..." he ranted on. This is strange. Why is this person standing on my doorstep? I thought I could leave all traces of that day behind me. I guess not.

"this is an impressive house by the-"

"Uh, who are you?" I finally asked, snapping out of my thoughts. He gave me an unsure smile and lightly chuckled.

"Tsubasa Andou."

"What are you doing at my house? I thought you people wouldn't bother me! I want nothing to do with that day down by the river-"

"Sorry that has nothing to do with me. I'm just the messenger after all. I came here to tell you Persona will be waiting for you by the Hyuuga hotel next Tuesday," he said, managing to cut me off and turn completely serious looking.

"Why?" I asked. Why do I have to answer to him? He already took away two of my dearest friends. Not to mention he did it right before my eyes. I haven't spoken a word to anyone about what happened and I don't ever plan on it. So why would he want to meet up with me?

"Persona hasn't told me anything. All I can tell you is to watch your back and listen to what he says. He holds a lot of power and can mess you up whenever he wants. Just because you're a member of the Sakura family, doesn't mean you can hide forever. Got that?" Got that? Umm...no.

I just smiled and nodded. Then much to his surprise, I slammed the door in his face. To go or not to go?


	15. Meeting With Persona

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

* * *

**Chapter 15: Meeting With Persona**

I can't believe I'm doing this! The heels of my boots made clicking sounds against the pavement as I walked. Both my hands are buried deep inside the large pockets of my sweat shirt. It is just the beginning of fall, and it is already overbearingly cold. I'm pretty sure I can see my breath! Even though I'm wearing jeans, my legs are still going numb from the cold. Remind me to never wear skinny jeans again on a cold day like this. Of all the days...

I stopped in front of what appeared to be the destination Persona requested of me; the Hyuuga Hotel. Yes, after rudely slamming the door in Tsubasa's face, I decided to meet up with Persona. I thought no problem, just go in and then come out safe and sound. But now that I'm here... am I stupid or what? To think I thought this would be easy. So not.

Images of my friends' dead bodies flashed through my mind as I made my way up the stairs. I wonder what Persona did with their bodies. The police still haven't found them, and they are filed as missing persons. Sucks to know what really happened. Now that I think about it, what Persona did was pretty reckless. He killed two teenage girls, surrounded by witnesses, with a party right up the hill. Okay, not helping! Realizing that has only made me more frightened. This Persona is willing to take risks, especially with human lives, why am I here? And why hasn't he killed me?

You can do this Mikan, just take deep breaths. I finally reached the top of the stairs. I took one look at the door and instantly turned around. "I can't do this," I mumbled to myself. Before I could take my first step back down...

"Mikan Sakura?" The one time I wish my name wasn't Mikan Sakura. I turned around and nervously smiled at the man who called my name. He was the doorman.

"Yes?"

"Persona is waiting for you inside," he said this and then opened the door. Do I even have a choice? I walked into the warm lobby. Aw... refreshing. But now is not the time to think of such things! Unfortunately, I loudly made my way to the front desk, everyone staring at me. Heels and tile just does not match.

"I'm here for Persona," I told the nice young lady working at the front desk. She smiled and nodded, then dialed a number into the phone.

"Mikan Sakura is here," she said to the person on the other end. Does everyone know my name? "Okay just go to room A306, he'll be waiting for you there." I gulped and gave her a smile and a thank you. Of course I'm far from grateful.

I bit the side of my cheeks as I passed door after door of this god forsaken hotel! How many doors are there? A306. I stood in front of the door for who knows how long. Knock. Dammit Mikan knock! Nope, I just stood there like a statue. I took a deep breath and nervously knocked on the door. It was opened up by the boy who had come to my door, Tsubasa. He didn't look so happy this time, instead he looked serious. Does anyone else feel like they're going to piss their pants?

"Please sit," the man known as Persona told me. He gestured to the leather couch in front of him. I sat down and observed the room around me. Besides me and Persona there was one other person sitting. He had claimed the chair by the desk, plopping his two feet casually on top of it. I recognized him as Hyuuga from that time down by the river. The blond one was also here. He sat far off, leaning his back against the wall, while standing next to Tsubasa. There were two other in the room, Hayate and another I don't recognize. Persona looked like the only man who wanted to be here, except for the man I don't recognize. They just smirked and tried to look smug. "How have you been?" he asked.

"Fine... I guess," I whispered under my breath.

"You guess?" Really, did he have to say that? How am I supposed to respond to that?

"W-" I was going to say something back, but luckily someone else interrupted.

"Can we cut to the chase? This little brat got in the way of the deal! Now we have know idea where the hell the fuckin' money is." (Sorry, please excuse the foul language. I just thought it added to the harshness of his character.)

Persona lifted his hand up, willing Hayate to stop talking... well yelling. He did. "Don't be so rude to our guest," he said, not peeling his eyes off of me for one second. "Plus, if I do recall, the whole losing the money began with your carelessness. Poor little Mikan just got mixed up in it." The way he said that last part; he really knows how to send shivers up a person's spine. "Now, let me introduce everyone." He pointed to the two teenagers leaning against the wall. "That is Tsubasa Andou, but you already knew that. The cuter one standing beside him is Ruka Nogi." Then he pointed to the two men standing in the corner, he still kept his eyes fiercely on me. "The one from the river, you know the one who just yelled at you, that's Hayate Matsudaira. The other one is Reo Mori."

Then lastly he pointed to the boy sitting by the desk. Besides Persona's, his stare was also intense. He had cold, frightening eyes, giving him a bad boy image. Without blinking, or moving his eyes, he stared into mine. Is it just me, or has the temperature in this room increased... by a lot?

"And this is my personal favorite, Natsume Hyuuga."

-Normal POV-

The sun had just barely peeked its head over the horizon. This was the time every morning Charla, the head maid, had to awake. It was her job to make sure everything for Mikan's morning was prepared. Then she had to stand by her door and make sure Mikan wakes up in time for school. She yawned and stretched her still tired muscles. Then she got out of bed and forcefully put on her maid's dress.

She then exited her room and made her way towards the stairs. One... two... three... There at the top of the stairs, she saw two little feet hanging down. It was Mikan's! She ran up to discover her body laying down at the top of the stairs.

With the help of her and some other maids, they successfully carried her to the bedroom. Mikan, the other day, had told them that if she ever passed out, to just take her to her room. This of course worries Charla and the other maids. Ever since coming back from the hospital, Mikan has been acting strange. She's been more cheerful, energetic, not to mention nice. Plus, her hours away from home have increased. Ever since the death of her parents, she has not told the maids anything about her personal life.

Of course the maids aren't completely clueless. Ever heard someone say the maids know everything? Obviously it's not entirely true in this situation, but they have collected quite a bit of information. Maybe a little bit too much for their own good...

Charla heard a knock on the door and went to go answer it. "Hello?" she said, with a heavenly smile upon her face. She hated to admit it, but she already knew who it was. Never had he made an appearance such as this one. Usually he just follows Mikan home, talks to her at the doorstep, then leaves. "Yes?" she asked.

"May I speak to Mikan?" he asked. Not too kindly either. "It's Natsume Hyuuga."

"Sorry, but the mistress had collapsed sometime last night and is still under."

"What!" he angrily snapped. He stomped in without Charla's consent. "Where's her room?"

"Uh-uh. U-up the stairs and to the left. It's the last door down the hall," she said. He took one last look at her before taking off towards Mikan's room.

"My, what do we have here? Mikan's boyfriend?" Charla turned around to find one of the older maids smiling at her.

"I don't know. I've been thinking the same thing for a while now," she said, recalling all the times he had stopped her on the doorstep. Even that one special time...

-Natsume's POV-

I ran up the stairs, to where the maid had said Mikan's room was. I came here this morning with the intention of telling Mikan some warnings about tonight, about Persona. Plus, I don't like the way we left things off last night. She kind of looked upset after I asked her to leave.

I slowed down after realizing how foolish my actions were. It is certainly not my thing to run around worrying about people. No it is not. I opened the last door at the end of the hall, revealing Mikan's room. It is so like her to paint her room pink. It didn't stop there though, about everything looked pink. Polka and her ridiculous tastes. I'm gonna have to add that to the list of things I need to harass her for. It's just too easy.

My eyes wandered all the way to the bed, then stopped. It was Polka, safe and sound, sleeping without a worry in the world. Unfortunately she will have to wake up to me and my news. I walked over to what looked like a bean bag. It was pink and fluffy, and obnoxious. It would make a wonderful thing to burn for a camp fire. At least now I know where to go before going camping next time. I sat down into the ridiculous thing and waited... and waited.

God dammit Polka. Wake up already!


	16. I Did Not Just Do That

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

* * *

**Chapter 16: I Did Not Just Do That**

I looked at the cement of the sidewalk, as I made my way to the car. My assistance. That is what Persona had told me after I asked what he wanted. My assistance? What the hell is that supposed to mean?

"_W-what do you want from me?" I finally managed to ask, after the long introductions. If it was even possible his smirk widened even more. Great, I really don't like that look._

"_Your assistance," Persona simply said. My assistance? For what?_

"_What do you mean?" I shyly asked him._

"_Mikan Sakura. Your family business interests me." He stood up from where he was sitting and walked over to me, only to take a seat beside me on the couch._

_To my side I could see Natsume take his feet off the desk, as he repositioned himself normally in the chair. He no longer looked relaxed, but tense. So was just about everyone else in the room._

"_Come here same time next week, your assistance will be needed."_

"_For what?" I coldly asked. I was surprised by my own harsh tone. Where did that come from?_

"_Another deal of course."_

"_For drugs?"_

"_Maybe."' What else would it be for? Oh great, these people do more than just drugs?_

I really have gotten myself into trouble, and now there is no where else to go. Persona has done his job of making me fear him, and now I can't help but do what he says. I just hope he doesn't make me harm other people, or something like that. I would rather have him kill me, than me hurting someone else.

Where is the car? I had told my driver to pick me up in an hour. It's been an hour! I stopped walking, as I patiently began waiting for my driver's arrival. I so don't want to be here right now. If it wasn't for the unbearable stinging the cold wind caused, I'd be crying right now. But somehow crying in cold weather just doesn't seem possible.

"Oi, little girl." I turned around at the harsh voice, sounding behind me. Even though I don't usually get referred to as little girl, I couldn't help but feel it was directed towards me.

"Natsume?" It was him, in the flesh. Why was he here?

"What are you planning to do?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"About Persona idiot." Idiot? I can already tell I'm not going to get along with this guy. First he calls me little girl, then idiot. What's next?

"I don't know. Do what he says I guess." I mean what else is there for me to do? Somehow I feel ignoring him will make my situation even worse. "Why do you even want to know anyways?" I asked him, sending my most powerful glare. I'm not one for glares though, so it was weak. It probably didn't even effect him at all.

I'm still unsure of who to trust. Natsume is working with Persona, that much is clear. But that day by the river, he really didn't want to see me killed or sent into the hands of Persona. Why? If he was bad like Persona, he wouldn't care. To trust him or not to...

"Why are you working for Persona?" I asked, not even allowing him to answer my previous question.

"None of your business little girl." He shrugged, then turned around and walked off, leaving me alone on the street corner.

Wait! Why did he ask me what I was going to do in the first place? Does that mean he cares? Somehow the image and aura he's been putting off doesn't seem like the caring type. So it's kind of hard to believe he would actually care about what I'll do.

Who knows. People do the strangest things for the stupidest reasons. Just like how instead of leaving after seeing the dead body in the lake, I stayed. Any person would have run away, maybe screaming. But I decided to watch. Why? Curiosity shouldn't be enough to risk my life for, but it was. I was curious and wanted to find out who those men were and what they wanted. Now that I know, I'm regretting it.

You think I would of learned my lesson the first time. But now I can't help but feel curious. Whoever came up with the saying curiosity killed the cat, knew what they were talking about. But I can't help myself, I want to know more.

I want to know more about Natsume Hyuuga.

Why does he work for Persona? He could just be stuck in a similar situation like me, where he saw something he shouldn't. But I doubt that. He seems too smart for that. Wait! Did I just call myself stupid?

I turned myself around and walked towards the hotel. The lobbyist was actually surprised to see me again. "Y-yes?" she asked.

"This place is called the Hyuuga Hotel, correct?"

"Yeah," she stated, looking at me like I was stupid. Even though I kind of am, otherwise I wouldn't be here right now. Getting over her initial surprise she asked, "What do you want?"

"So does Natsume Hyuuga's family own this hotel?"

"Yes."

"Do you know where I can find him by any chance?" I don't really know if he is here or not. I'm just kind of guessing he is, after seeing him walk back in this direction.

"You can't go there unless authorized," she said, kind of looking mad. " Now what do you want?" Hm... I really want to talk to him. Doesn't this place have a restaurant?

"Are you sure about that?" I pushed.

"Yes, I'm positive." She proudly dismissed me and walked over to the other side of the lobby to sulk. I guess I'm gonna have to wait.

The lobby was terribly boring with only people coming by here and there, some old some young, some hot some not. Where is Natsume? What the heck is he doing? That lady at the front desk better of not lied to me about him being here, otherwise I'm going to get mad. Sometimes she actually looks over at me, and because technically speaking I loitering, I have to hide my face behind the tree next to me. The fat lady I'm sitting next to keep looking at me funny each timte I do it, but I don't really blame her.

Unfortunately my clumsiness was bound to kick in sooner or later. The lady sitting next to me got up quickly and I looked over at her seat to see that she forgot her wallet. So I grabbed it and began chasing after her when I tripped over some random luggage in the lobby, went flying in the air, and pushed her forward sending her crashing down.

Unfortunately I looked up to find a disaster befall before my eyes. A not so happy Natsume squashed underneath a way too happy fat lady. He must have come through the elevator when I was chasing the fat lady.

"Little girl!" I heard Natsume yell from underneath the lady. She squirmed around on top of him, trying to get up. But I'm not going to stick around long enough for her to successfully get off of him.

"Oops... did I do that?" I asked, trying to hold back my laugh. I turned around and ran past the angry lobbyist and receptionist. Once I was outside I couldn't hold it in any longer. I began laughing non-stop. The doorman just looked at me funny, but I just ignored it. Instead I made my way to the driver, forgetting why I had gone back to the hotel in the first place. Thank god my driver had finally decided to show up. I didn't feel so depressed any more.

The first thing to greet me after waking up was the plain white ceiling. I was back in my room. Safe and sound...

The maids must have carried me in here after passing out. I'm so glad I had told them not to take me to the hospital. By the looks of it, the sun was beginning to set. Great, I slept through the whole day. Now I don't have a whole lot of time to prepare myself for the ball.

Wait. Is that breathing? To my right I can hear faint breathing noises. Who is it? I turned to my side, unwrapping the layers of blankets on top of me. There on my bean bag was Natsume Hyuuga himself. Sleeping.  
Why is he in my room? Sleeping. I sat up and found a pencil lying on my bedside table. I picked it up and threw it at his face. He didn't move for a few seconds until finally I saw his eyes again. Unfortunately he looked pissed. Note to self: Never wake Natsume up from his beauty sleep using a pencil.

"What's the big deal Polka?" There's that nickname again. I can't recall the moment I was given that nickname, but somehow I know it's because of my underwear. I gulped at his angry expression.

"Um, why are you sleeping in _my _room?" I asked him. Confidently and proud if I do say so myself.

"Tch. Remember anything?" he asked, obviously avoiding the subject. I'll let it slide this time around.

"A little bit, regarding that first meeting we had with Persona." He moved his gaze from the floor to me once I said that.

"Is that why you so rudely banned me from going there?" He smirked and then leaned back on my bean bag.

"Yeah. But I got revenge." I looked at him unsure. Oh my gosh what did he do?

"And..."

"Got a look at your underwear. Polka dots. Been calling you that ever since." I already knew he has been calling me that name because of my underwear, but I can't help but feel dumbfounded by his statement. I gaped momentarily, before realizing how stupid my reaction was.

I shut my jaw tight and turned my head away so I don't have to look at his gaze. That warm feeling crept up into my cheeks, staining my face a tint of red. Great, now I'm blushing. I turned back in his direction only to discover his smirk has turned into a frown. "What?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrows then looked away. "Tonight Persona is probably planning something, so be careful."

"What would he be planning?"

"I don't know. I just know something is gonna happen and I came here to warn you." Well that's one question answered. Maybe he really does care, especially if he came all this way just to warn me about Persona. "Persona was talking to my father yesterday, so that is most definitely not a good sign."

"Wait! Persona knows your father?" Now that I think about it, I had met Persona in the Hyuuga Hotel. That hotel is owned by Natsume's father. Is that how Natsume is involved in all this?

Then the question I had meant to ask Natsume that day at the hotel popped into my mind. Why does Natsume work for Persona?

"Natsume why do you work for Persona?" Seconds passed before he finally decided to answer. It seemed much longer than that though, because Natsume was staring right into my eyes. It's hard though to keep my gaze, especially when you're up against Natsume's intimidating crimson orbs. I'm making it sound like a contest, but I just don't want to look away first. It'd be embarrassing.

"Persona's real name is Rei Serio," he began. "He has been a long friend of the Hyuuga family, since my father was a child. They should actually be right around the same age. When they grew up my father took over the family business and all it's fortune, and Persona got involved in his. It's kind of like a gang, which only makes it more dangerous and risky due to the fact we're more expendable to Persona. My father wasn't looked at any different by Persona. Unbeknownst to him, Persona has been using my father to up his deals and trading. This is where I came along. Persona thought I was interesting and told me to work with him."

"So you just did?" I asked. I know he still has more to tell.

"It's not that simple Polka. Persona threatened to off my father and mother if I denied working with him in his deals. Kind of like what happened-" he cut off there, leaving me to become more curious. His voice was raising and I could tell he was becoming angry. An angry Natsume doesn't sound too appealing at all.

"Kind of like what happened..." I said, trying to make him continue. He sighed and decided to tell me. Once again I'm gonna regret knowing.


	17. Some More of the Past

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

* * *

**Chapter 17: Some More of the Past**

"Kind of like what happened..." I said, trying to make him continue. He sighed and decided to tell me. Once again I'm gonna regret knowing.

"Mikan, Persona killed your parents," he said.

"Oh." I looked down at my lap. I'm still sitting my lazy ass in this bed of mine. Sigh, I'm gonna get fat with all the bed time I've been getting. Absolutely no time for exercise.

"Mikan?" I heard him ask. You know, if I recall correctly, this is the first time he's used my name. Mikan. I like the sound of that. A small smile graced my lips and I turned my head over to Natsume. He raised an eyebrow at the look on my face, but I didn't waver.

"You just called me Mikan!" I got off my bed, not embarrassed by the fact I'm still in my pajamas. Then I walked over to where Natsume was sitting and gave him a hug. It wasn't like a bear hug or anything, just a nice small hug.

Instead of crying or getting helplessly depressed, I am happy. Is that wrong? I don't know anything about my parents, nor do I remember anything about them. The only moment I actually remember is that brief moment with my mother by the front door. Am I upset by the fact that they're dead? Yes. Am I going to cry because of it? No.

I'll not think about it. Right now I'm here with Natsume, and he just called me Mikan. This is time for celebration, not sorrow.

I released him from my grasps and turned around to face my closet, not wanting to look at his face. I can only imagine what he's thinking about regarding my reaction. H I hope he doesn't think I'm trying to be strong, because I'm not. I'll break down and cry over it after I get my memory back. Until then, I'm kind of stuck only being able to wonder.

What were parents like? What was it like when they died? Did it feel like the world would end the next day if they didn't come back? One day I'll know, but until then...

"Okay. Get out," I casually said to Natsume, as I walked over to the closet. "I need to get changed for the ball." I heard him get off the beanie bag and walk towards the exit of the room.

"See ya there Polka," he said before finally leaving. I pulled out the dress I had bought at the mall with Hotaru. She's probably figured out a whole butt load of crap by now. I wonder if she could possibly know more about me than me by now.

The dress I had picked out was a beautiful rose colored pink. It pretty much had lighter pink colored flowers dancing around the bottom, which just barely hit my knees. I absolutely adore this dress, especially because it doesn't emphasize the fact I lack curves and a decent chest size. Hey, we can't all be perfect.

Everything looked great! I heard a knock on my door and turned around to find Hotaru standing at the door. Just like me, she was already dressed for the ball.

Before I realized it, the sun had made its final appearance in the sky, before it disappeared below the horizon. Faint traces of stars were seen in the sky and the moon faintly glowed.

"Mikan. Ready to go yet?" Hotaru questioned. I gave myself one last smile in the mirror before leaving. Unfortunately to me, it looked faked. Stop it Mikan! You are happy. Got that?

"Yep," I followed Hotaru out the door to the limo. Hotaru glanced over to me as we walked. Could she tell something was up? She has apparently known me for a long time.

"What's up baka?" she asked. Guess that answers my question.

"Nothing Hotaru," I said to her, kind of sounding harsh. We arrived to the limo and I sat comfortably inside. Nice. Hotaru has great taste, she's the one who picked this limo out after all. I'm so glad Natsume and Ruka, who is actually Hotaru's date, decided to take another ride there. Natsume's my date for "business" reasons though, and Hotaru and Ruka got stuck together because they were the last two left.

When Hotaru got in, she instantly took out her baka gun and shot me straight in the face. "What was that for?" I yelled at Hotaru.

"When will you stop lying to me? Something is up Mikan. I'm not an idiot like you."

"What do you know?" I asked, venom hinting my words.

"Enough Mikan. I know about Hayate, Persona, _Natsume, _and the deal that's going on tonight." My eyes widened and she just continued staring at me, like there was nothing going on.

"How? What? You know?" I asked, kind of at a loss of words.

"No duh. I just told you didn't I."

"But how long?"

"I'm not going to say everything on how I found out. The point is I know. Now, what did Natsume say to you when he was at your house?" I told her about everything. Like normal, she showed no surprise.

-Hotaru's POV-

When will this baka ever learn? Even from a distance I could tell she has always been clueless. When Mikan first showed up at Gakuen Alice, I was actually surprised. Especially by her actions. She had told me nothing previous to that day. I had to find out from the freaking papers that her parent's died! I thought she just shut me out because of her parents and from a distance I was forced to observe her and thought something was up.

I actually already knew Natsume and Ruka had been involved in something fishy, but not Mikan. Somehow I can't picture little innocent Mikan being affiliated with that group of people. Of course my denial kept the truth from me...

I noticed Mikan spending an awful a lot of time with Natsume. At first I thought, they're just seat mates. Could just be that they're fond of each other. It was more than just fondness...

_Why the hell did Narumi freaking make me stay after school? He really didn't need help from me to decide something so ridiculous. Who asks their student what shirt would look better on them. Frilly or v-neck or both? What the hell? I swear I'm going to kill that teacher one of these days._

_I was about to turn the corner when I heard Mikan's voice. I stopped and leaned my body flat against the wall, planning to eavesdrop. I peeked my head out from behind the wall and saw Mikan and Natsume talking with each other. More like arguing actually. Natsume was looking unusually pissed off and Mikan was plain out furious._

_Mikan tried walking away but Natsume grabbed her wrists and pushed her against the wall. He pretty much just pinned her there. What did I walk into?_

"_Natsume! Just leave me alone!" Mikan shouted, turning her head away so she doesn't have to face Natsume._

"_So you're just going to forget and deny that it ever happened?" Natsume asked, obviously scaring Mikan. I could tell she was trying not to show it, but she was scared of Natsume right now. But why?_

"_It was just a caught up in the moment type thing Natsume," she said, turning back to face Natsume, glaring at him. "Nothing more," she said through gritted teeth._

_Natsume took one of his fists and slammed it against the wall next to Mikan's head. "Really? Don't say you don't feel it too Polka." He then leaned down next to her ear and whispered something into it. Mikan's eyes widened and her face was completely flushed. She began wriggling around under his grasp. He let go and let her go._

_I leaned back against the wall and saw Mikan crying as she ran away from Natsume. What happened?_

_That's it! I'm going to kill Natsume for making Mikan cry. I don't care if she feels like we're not friends anymore. She is my friend god dammit._

_After Mikan was gone, I came out from the corner and walked over to Natsume. He was pacing back and forth, whispering multiple profanities under his breathe. He saw me and turned towards my direction to face me._

"_What do you want?" he asked, obviously not happy with my presence. I rolled my eyes and talked regularly, well for me at least._

"_Don't you dare even think about hurting Mikan." Even though I'm pretty sure he just did, I still wanted to threaten him. "You'll have me to deal with once that happens." He just scoffed and walked off with his hands in his pockets._

It's been a while since that happened. After that, they seemed to go back to normal. What ever they were fighting over, was forgotten and left behind. A few weeks later Mikan disappears...

"_So where's the bitchy Mikan today?" Sumire asked Luna. I would ignore them, but they're talking about Mikan._

"_Don't know," Luna responded. She smacked the gum that was in her mouth and continued talking, "I think she went to Hawaii, or something like that."_

"_Really? That lucky bitch." The fan girls have been unbelievably bored lately. So they have been up to nothing but gossip. Natsume hasn't showed up a day since Mikan left school. Some people are even saying they are together._

_The door opened and in came Natsume, but no Mikan. The thing I noticed the most about him though, was the fact he had a bandage covering a relatively large cut on his forehead. It looked like he got into a fight or something. To my surprise, he stopped at my desk and muttered something only I could hear._

"_Sorry."_

At the time I had no idea what he was talking about. But now I know it had to do with Mikan's kidnapping. He was there when it happened, and he must blame himself somehow.

-Normal POV at the ball-

"So you ready?" Persona asked his friend. He adjusted his suit to his own perfection and then looked at his friends appearance. Perfect.

"Of course," he replied back. "If you don't mind me asking. Why'd you change your mind about her?"

Persona shrugged. "I didn't. Just thought it'd be fun."


	18. the Hyuuga Ball Begins

**RECAP: Hotaru had actually known more about the situation than she originally led on. Even before Mikan lost her memories, Hotaru had been suspicious of her dealings, especially with Natsume. Now she knows just about everything, and even more than what Mikan knows.**

**After Mikan figured out Natsume was strongly involved in her life before everything, she established friendship with him but is now questioning his true motives with her. Mikan doesn't know that in the past Natsume was assigned to follow her everywhere and watch over her, and that's also when she ended up getting kidnapped. She also doesn't know that Hotaru over heard an argument between the two of them regarding something that happened only weeks before the kidnapping.**

**So far, though, Mikan has discovered she works for Persona. Natsume is also being pressured into working with him because of Persona's dangerously close relations to his father and mother. Mikan's parents were also being used as leverage by Persona once upon a time, until he cruelly ordered their deaths because of Mikan's defiance. After that she went to Alice Academy, where she met Ruka, reunited with Hotaru and got to know Natsume better.**

* * *

**Forgetting My Life**

**Part I: A Whole Lot of Confusion**

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**Chapter 18: The Hyuuga Ball**

Where's Natsume? He instantly disappeared the moment he got here. I'm worried now because I see both Tsuabasa and Ruka but I have no idea where Natsume is. What's keeping him? "Mikan, why are you so tense?"

A strange girl came walking up to me, smiling sweetly and obviously knowing me. "Just nervous I guess."

"Oh it's nothing to worry about! Dancing is extremely easy once you get used to it. I'm sure Natsume will be out here any minute, that's what Tsubasa said." I instantly brought my attention fully to this older girl standing beside me. She not only knows me but Natsume and Tsuabasa too? Who is she?

Hotaru came walking up behind me holding a beverage and whispered secretively into my ear, "This is Misaki, Mikan." Misaki? Okay, never heard that name before. Who is she?

"I'm not waiting to dance with Natsume though," I responded honestly. I'm worried about if Natsume is in trouble, and so I'm not really thinking about dancing with him.

I mean we are here at the Hyuuga Ball, but still, even with all the dancing I don't see us dancing. Together. He did say I was his partner and announced that to the whole class too, but was he actually planning on taking me dancing? I thought we were just going to skip out on all of that, especially because of this being the time and place of Persona's meeting.

"Oh really? The last time I saw you guys, you were pretty cozy."

"W- what are you talking about?" I asked, surprised. What does she mean by that? Cozy? Gosh Mikan, that can have many meanings.

"Oh, you don't remember? It has been a while since I've last seen you, I guess it's old news already. I'm not going to lie though, I'm actually disappointed about that. I was excited when I saw that you two might actually end up together-" she rambled on until Hotaru completely interrupted her.

"Hi, I'm Hotaru Imai. You're Misaki right?" For the first time Misaki noticed Hotaru there, and instantly smiled more brightly, cheering up completely.

"Yeah. Mikan has told me lots about you! About time I met you!" If what she just said about Natsume and me was a shocker, this was even bigger. Weren't me and Hotaru not on good terms before I lost my memories? I mean from what I heard, we weren't even talking and I was giving her the cold shoulder, pushing her away. And now this girl comes along and tells me I was talking about her, fondly too.

How does she know about me? Who is she? "Misaki! Hey Mikan!" Tsubasa came running over to us, Ruka following him slowly. He hugged Misaki and held her hand as he faced me and Hotaru. Are they dating? Is that how I know her?

"Where's Natsume?" I asked, still curious about his whereabouts. But Tsuabasa's chipper attitude couldn't possibly mean he's in a bad position, right? Tsubasa instantly frowned and he looked over to Ruka. Well that's reassuring. Not.

"Persona told him to stay behind. They had some business to attend to," Ruka replied, his mind off thinking about what Natsume was up to. A young man wearing a tux walked up to Ruka and whispered into his ear. "Looks like Persona is actually ready for you now. Wait, Hotaru! What are you doing here?" They all just completely noticed her there. She didn't even bat an eye the whole conversation or make a single noise, I'm not surprised.

"She already knows everything," I annoyingly responded, not liking how she did manage to figure it all out on her own.

"Okay then," Ruka suspiciously said, switching his attention back to me. "Just go tot the regular room, he'll be there."

"'Kay." Then I was off.

From what I remembered the "regular" room was room A306. I took my hand and slowly wrapped around the door knob. Was he inside? Was Natsume there too? What were they doing? I opened the door up and only made it in two feet before someone grabbed me and put a cloth on my mouth.

Haven't I been in a situation like this before? Knocked unconscious. **(A/N: This next part is her past by the way.)**

"You know it's creepy how you constantly follow me around," I shouted out to Natsume who was a few blocks behind. It was practically an invitation and he came running up next to me. Maybe I shouldn't of done that, I don't want to be near Natsume now. It's just frustrating truthfully. What annoys me most, though, is that he seems completely oblivious to it!

"I would think you'd like it, knowing as how you're a member of my fan club," he said, only annoying me further. I am already bothered enough by that membership. Does he really have to bother me further because of it?

I started swinging the bag I got from the gas station back and forth. For a while now, mostly when Natsume started following me, I ditched my driver and have started walking. This is nice though, because when I'm here, here with Natsume, I can relax.

"Oh shush," I replied. "Unless you really want another fan girl on your hands." Then I decided to try to bother Natsume and hugged on to him, giggling. "Natsume your so smart and handsome! You always know what to do and I just love you so much!"

"Hands off Polka," he suddenly said, even going as far to shake me off and calling me Polka, much to my disliking. I punched him in the ribs lightly, and like what I expected, he barely flinched.

"You know I don't like being called that! You're such a freakin' pervert!" I hate how I got that nick name. It was a complete accident anyways! That day... that day was absolutely crazy.

_"Okay sunshines! I would like you to meet our brand new student, Mikan Sakura!" that was my cue and so I went into the classroom. As expected I saw Natsume and Ruka sitting in the back together. Persona had purposefully sent me here, because of those two and because it was close to him back at the hotel._

_I greeted the class and gave them all a smile. That's when I saw Hotaru, my best friend... "Mikan?" Hotaru is here? How did I not know that sooner? It hasn't been that long, but ever since... ever since that incident with my parents I have avoided her. Unfortunately, I know I have to continue that. _

_"What are you doing here?" I coldly snapped. Remember, the sooner you shake her off the better. _

_"I go here baka."_

_"Hotaru I don't want you talking to me anymore. I'm sick and tired of wasting my time on your cold attitude and blackmailing ways. It disgusts me! And now that my parents aren't here anymore, I don't have to be friends with the lonely neighbor down the street." There I said it. That was the excuse I had thought to say to her, that it was because of my parents. That's what I decided on. _

_I started walking away over to my desk,unintentionally whispering, "sorry."_

_The whole class was staring at me, probably thinking of what the heck just happened between the two of us. Knowing Hotaru, they probably had no idea she even had friends."Do you have something to say?" I asked, still upset from having to depart from Hotaru like that. _

_"No. You're fine. I'm Luna by the way," a girl said, obviously Luna. She got up out of her seat, and it was then I noticed the teacher wasn't even there anymore. Where did he go? She leaned down and whispered in to my ear, "Want to join the Ruka and Natsume Fan Club?" Fan club? Thos two have a club? This instantly got a giggle from me._

_"So you're Natsume?" I asked, pretending not to know him. "Sure Luna I'll join." Seems like a good idea. It gets me away from Hotaru and it's something I would never do usually. It's perfect._

_I thought everything would run smoothly after that, but then I saw the smirk Natsume had drawn on his face. What was he smirking at? That look of his definitely can't be good and makes me nervous. _

_"So, you joined our fan-club?" Ruka asked me. Everyone had left an it was just us three together in the class. He smiled at me sweetly, obviously trying to make me feel more comfortable._

_"Yeah. Don't give yourself the satisfaction though. It just felt like the right thing to do at the time."_

_"Okay," he said back, continuing to stare at me._

_"Well I better get going," I said, getting up and collecting all my stuff. This was fun and all, but it was sort of awkward with no real conversation._

_"Where are you going Polka-dots?" What did Natsume just say? Polka-dots? Wait... where have I seen that today? I could tell instantly that my face was completely red, and the look of triumph was written all over his face. _

_"What's Polka-dots mean?" Ruka asked. That's my underwear!Oh my gosh! How did he see it? _

_"NATSUME I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAW IT! WHEN? HOW? JEEZ, YOUR SUCH A PERVERT!" I shouted out, leaving the room all together, angry out of my mind, "go to hell!"_

_I could hear Natsume laughing back in the classroom._

"You know I don't like being called that," I complained, " you're such a freakin' pervert!" Still, I like thinking of that, because that day I had been so upset about my parent's dying and having to yell at Hotaru, but then because of my underwear being seen, I had completely thought of that instead. My worries had been completely altered and I loved that.

Suddenly someone grabbed me from behind, holding a fabric tightly to my mouth. I managed to let out a small scream, but it barely seemed like anything. Pretty soon my mind went completely fuzzy and my eye lids barely open. Still, even with that, I could see Natsume struggling. He was hit in the head, and that's when I was gone.

I remember thinking about Natsume in that moment. Thinking about how only moments earlier my worries were over him... normal teenage girl worries too.

**(A/N: Because this may be a little confusing, I'll just explain that the next stuff is all stuff that happened only a week before Mikan's kidnapping. Mikan is just remembering it like this because I decided to be confusing like that.)**

"I know you're following me," I teasingly said, turning around and seeing Natsume coming out of a bush he was hiding in.

"How long?"

"You have been following me a while now haven't you? Did Persona put you up to this?" I asked. He came and walked up the stairs leading to the porch in front of my house where I was standing. I touched my hand on the door knob, preparing to go inside.

"We need to talk Mikan," he said. I remember I used to complain whenever he told me this, knowing it's always about Persona. This time I know it isn't, and still I'm resisting him. I can't do this.

"About what?" I asked a little harsher. He was too close. He jumped forward and put one hand on the door beside my head, and used his other to take my hand off the door knob. Unfortunately I followed his lead, lost in his scent and eyes that stared intently at me now.

"Accept it Mikan," he whispered, leaning in and saying it into my ear, "this is happening." My heart nearly stopped and I swear I wasn't even breathing.

"Natsume-" he didn't even give me a chance to complain though, because he was kissing me. Yes, kissing me. I know I can't do this... I know I... but I... I let myself in, though, and kissed him back.

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**Okay so it has been a long while since I last updated! Sorry about that! Anyways, please review!**


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